Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #group #pressure

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Peer

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group

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pressure

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has been present among youngsters for centuries but is evidently on

Correct article usage

the

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rise nowadays.

This

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can help push the younger generation into attaining certain career heights,

however

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, it is a contributing factor to juvenile crime in society. In my opinion, the cons of

peer

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pressure

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outweigh the pros.

To begin

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with, one main disadvantage of

peer

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influence on youngsters is the increase in crime rate among the population in

quest

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the quest

a quest

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to meet certain standards. They feel the need to follow the trend, appear appealing or financially buoyant like their folks and frame experienced like their mates, whilst in the process

lose

Wrong verb form

losing

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their morals and home training and often take actions to belong even if it means going against the law.

For instance

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, a young boy with a

group

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of friends

that

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who

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appear rich, use the latest gadgets, take illicit drugs and even molest

the

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apply

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female kids will eventually see the need to steal money from parents or through robbery so as to acquire

the

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apply

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expensive things.

This

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teenager may start using illegal drugs and sexually harass the girls to pose

mature

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as mature

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and experienced.

However

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, there can be an advantage associated with

peer

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group

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pressure

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which is the encouragement to attain certain heights in their academics and career. Young people have the compulsion to work harder in school to do academically better than their folks and at work to get promoted ahead of their colleagues.

For example

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, research has shown that there is

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apply

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stiff competition in the world which is now a small global village. The population see the need to invest more time to acquire better knowledge and position which is evident in schools and work environments and is irrefutably sparked up by

peer

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group

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pressure

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. In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages of

peer

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pressure

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surpass the advantages. Though

peer

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group

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pressure

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can help push the younger generation into attaining certain career heights, it is a major contributing factor to the increased juvenile crime rate in society.

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task achievement

Your essay effectively presents both advantages and disadvantages of peer group pressure, which is crucial for task response. However, try to include more specific examples and develop them in detail to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure of your paragraphs. For instance, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and avoid mixing multiple ideas in one paragraph. This will help improve the clarity of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all sentences within a paragraph are relevant to the main idea of the paragraph. This will improve the cohesion of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented, providing a good frame for your essay.

task achievement

You have a complete response, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of peer group pressure.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your writing demonstrates a good command of English vocabulary and grammar, making your ideas easy to understand.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Full- time students should not spend a lot of time on studying, but the should be involved in other activities too. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays a growing number of people with heath problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?