IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #energy #resources #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 generated from various sources in the country for the years 1985 and 2003. These charts highlight the distribution of
energy
Use synonyms
 production across five main resources.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the productivity of oil and nuclear had decreased in two years .
However
Linking Words
 ,other resources slightly increased except hydrogen which levelled off. It is evident from the data that, the
energy
Use synonyms
 generated by natural gas had been inclined by 10% meanwhile coal had grown half of it .
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,the next resource was hydrogen which
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not
seen
Correct your spelling
seem
show examples
 to have any activity during the period of time. Moving
further
Linking Words
 ,the resource oil produced maximum
energy
Use synonyms
 which had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in 2003 by 13%. at the same time nuclear generated 22% of
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1985,
further
Linking Words
 , it fell off by 5% in 2003 . in the end, there were few renewable resources
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 changed their position by 3%.
Submitted by komalpreetcheema07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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