IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, a
lot
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 of
people
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 are moving to
cities
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 from
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Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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 the population in
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Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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 is falling down. The society split into two parts, one group of
people
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 thinks that
this
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 has a positive impact,
another
Correct word choice
and another
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 group thinks the opposite. On the one hand,
this
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 is a positive development for
cities
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, a large amount of workers are coming to work there it can evolve companies,
institutions
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and institutions
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. As for the
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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, a
lot
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 of space is free for summer houses
,
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apply
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 or camps where
people
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 from
cities
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 can
coma
Correct your spelling
come
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 and rest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
For instance
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, in
Israel
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Israel,
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 a
lot
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 of
countrysides
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 are transformed
to
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into
show examples
 entertainment camps or fields, where
people
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are coming
Wrong verb form
come
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 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 fun, or coming
for volunteering
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to volunteer
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 in the fields. On another hand,
decreasing
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the decreasing
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 population in rural
area
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areas
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 has a terrible influence.
Besides
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, animals are alone there and
no-one
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no one
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 can regularly take care of the territory. As for the
cities
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, a
lot
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 of
people
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 are coming. Overpopulation can interfere with development,
also
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 human beings can face unemployment.
For example
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, the countryside which name is Shodnenskoe, the area is based near
to
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apply
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Moscow
misbecame
Wrong verb form
has become
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 poor and unkempt, nature is dying there because
people
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 have
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
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this
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 place.
To conclude
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,
people
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's immigration to the city can influence
positive
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positively
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 and
negative
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negatively
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to
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apply
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the countryside. In my opinion,
people
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need
Add the particle
need to
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 live in the place where they are needed, they can build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 career in the countryside, they can develop
this
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 area and take care of it. As for me, moving from villages has a negative impact.

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task achievement
Improve your understanding of opinion-based questions and how to balance multiple perspectives in your essay.
task achievement
Include more diverse and relevant evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point is explained comprehensively to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some of the sentence structures to make the overall argument easier to follow.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states the topic and provides a good context for the discussion.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and presents the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support the points made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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