Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, a
lot
of
people
are moving to
cities
from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
the population in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
is falling down. The society split into two parts, one group of
people
thinks that
this
has a positive impact,
another
Correct word choice
and another
show examples
group thinks the opposite. On the one hand,
this
is a positive development for
cities
, a large amount of workers are coming to work there it can evolve companies,
institutions
Correct word choice
and institutions
show examples
. As for the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
, a
lot
of space is free for summer houses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or camps where
people
from
cities
can
coma
Correct your spelling
come
show examples
and rest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
For instance
, in
Israel
Add a comma
Israel,
show examples
a
lot
of
countrysides
are transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
entertainment camps or fields, where
people
are coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
fun, or coming
for volunteering
Change preposition
to volunteer
show examples
in the fields. On another hand,
decreasing
Correct article usage
the decreasing
show examples
population in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
has a terrible influence.
Besides
, animals are alone there and
no-one
Correct your spelling
no one
show examples
can regularly take care of the territory. As for the
cities
, a
lot
of
people
are coming. Overpopulation can interfere with development,
also
human beings can face unemployment.
For example
, the countryside which name is Shodnenskoe, the area is based near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Moscow
misbecame
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
poor and unkempt, nature is dying there because
people
have
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
this
place.
To conclude
,
people
's immigration to the city can influence
positive
Change the word
positively
show examples
and
negative
Change the word
negatively
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the countryside. In my opinion,
people
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
live in the place where they are needed, they can build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
career in the countryside, they can develop
this
area and take care of it. As for me, moving from villages has a negative impact.
Submitted by angelbonita6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve your understanding of opinion-based questions and how to balance multiple perspectives in your essay.
task achievement
Include more diverse and relevant evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point is explained comprehensively to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some of the sentence structures to make the overall argument easier to follow.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states the topic and provides a good context for the discussion.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and presents the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support the points made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: