IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

you live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter say where the park is, say how often this happens give a description of the man and the dogs.

#house #park #man #dogs #council #danger #description
dear Smith, I am writing
this
 letter to draw your attention to a
dogs
Change the noun form
dog
show examples
 problem at
park
Add an article
the park
a park
show examples
 across the street where I live.I am residing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ford street and
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 is
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Green
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
.
This
 issue
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 every day, a young boy brings his two
dogs
 to the
park
 and
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them
let
Verb problem
to go
show examples
 free across the
park
, off-lease.
This
 is
potiential
Correct your spelling
potentially
potential
 dangerous for visitors.
Although
dogs
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not look fierce, they
frequentialy
Correct your spelling
frequently
 frighten
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small children
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
grave
Add an article
a grave
show examples
 concern for their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
.I have
filled
Correct your spelling
filed
show examples
complaint
Add an article
a complaint
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the local police ,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
 are not taking action. Despite the fact that
sign
Correct article usage
the sign
show examples
borad
Correct your spelling
board
 clearly
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
 that off-lease
dogs
 are not allowed. The man
appeares probaly
Correct your spelling
appears probably
 30 years old,
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
6 feet
height
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
 and well built.His
dogs
are3
Correct your spelling
are
 feet long ,
black
Correct word choice
and black
show examples
 in color.The bread is
boxer
Add an article
a boxer
show examples
. I hope you will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to take care of
this
 matter. Yours sincerely, parm
Submitted by parminderbitti3 on

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task achievement
Your letter covers the required points, but adding more specific details would strengthen the task response. Mention specific incidents or provide more specific times when this occurs.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and flows logically from one to the next. For example, separate the description of the man and dogs into a different paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure correct usage of grammar and punctuation to help the reader follow your points more easily. For example, 'This issue happen' should be 'This issue happens', and 'off-lease' should be 'off-leash'.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of your letter are polite and appropriate.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the issue to the local council, which is the correct recipient for your complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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