In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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is undeniable that citizens in several countries decide to move from the countryside to cities, and the rural population is decreasing.

This

essay will examine why I believe it has both adverse and beneficial aspects before elaborating on supporting ideas. There are numerous benefits to

relocate

Wrong verb form

relocating

show examples

to metropolises,

although

the decreasing population number is presented in the countryside. The most essential one is job opportunity because the majority of careers which are paid with high

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

are located in capitals or enormous cities.

This

means that they may have a better life than their hometown. Top-ranked companies in the business area,

for example

, usually hire employees with greater money and has

the

Correct article usage

show examples

variety of works. Another reason is that there is an encouraging economy

due to

the

rising

Replace the word

rise

show examples

of proficient workers. The massive

job

Correct quantifier usage

number of job

show examples

seekers,

consequently

, tend to move to

this

area as an urbanization. Despite the aforementioned good explanations, there are various negatives to

this

development. The first of which is overpopulation owing to

high

Add an article

the high

a high

show examples

density of citizens.

As a result

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many people,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

resources

such

as water, food, and electricity may be utilized rapidly.

This

situation not only

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of fundamental needs but

also

the garbage problem.

Furthermore

, the rural zone may be abandoned by some new generations and governments since it is not a priority to improve.

For instance

, some towns that should be heritage places do not receive the necessary support and end up being destroyed. In conclusion, even though a number of people who plan to start their lives in the major cities have advantages to society,

this

statement

also

has some drawbacks. If

governments

Add a verb

governments are

governments were

show examples

concerned about their citizens, they would make the best choice.

Submitted by kickbox191 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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advice

To improve task response, increase the number of specific examples that support your points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.

advice

Try to further develop your ideas to provide a more comprehensive discussion. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your essay.

advice

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and smooth transitions to increase coherence and cohesion. This helps in logically structuring your essay.

positive

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, which helps frame your argument.

positive

You have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Somepe people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that language should be taught in small classes, while other people think the number of students in a language class does not matter. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 5.0

In today's globalized world, people from different cultures often come into contact with each other. How do cultural differences affect commucation? What can be done to improve cross-cultural communication?

Some countries have high unemployment rate, so some people think that children should only go to primary school, not high school because they won't find a job later. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The population in most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problem does overpopulation in the cities cause? How can these problems be solved?