IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below the most popular films by genre for men and women and general ticket sales for different types of film in the USA in 2010.

#films #genre #men #women #ticket #sales #film #usa
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The bar
chart
 compares
males
 and
females
 in terms of the proportion of their favourite
film
 types, and
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
 highlights the percentages of income from general
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
.
Overall
,
action
 movies were the most liked by
men
,
whereas
 women liked romantic
comedy
Fix the agreement mistake
comedies
show examples
 most. Meanwhile,
action
 films generated the majority of income. Regarding the figure for
males
' and
females
' favourite genres of
film
, 40% of
men
 preferred
action
 movies, making it the highest number in the
chart
,
while
 one in four women liked
this
 genre.
However
, Romantic
comedy
 was the number-one type of
film
 for
females
 with 30%, which was 6 times as high as the proportion of
Men
 who watched
such
 genre. As regards the proportion of
comedy
 and western, twice as many
males
 and
females
 enjoyed watching the former as the letter, at 20% and 10%
accordingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
. Thriller was ranked third for
men
 with 15%, 5% higher than that of the opposite gender,
whereas
 the percentage of
males
 liking science fiction was twice as high as that of
females
 who liked the same type of
film
.
According to
 the pie
chart
, almost half of
takings
Add an article
the takings
show examples
 came from selling
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 for
action
 movies. Next came
comedy
 with 24%, making it twice as high as the figure for romantic
comedy
. The remaining 15% of income was generated by the sales of tickets for
thriller
Fix the agreement mistake
thrillers
show examples
 and other types
Submitted by minimix1203 on

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task achievement
While your essay consists of all required parts, try to make your introduction more elaborate to give a better idea of what the essay will entail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using appropriate linking words.
task achievement
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data represented in both charts, reflecting a comprehensive understanding of the task.
task achievement
Main points are well supported with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure and includes an appropriate introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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