Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
The
environment
is the
popular Correct article usage
a
issues
that Fix the agreement mistake
issue
would need
to be addressed. Wrong verb form
needs
However
, the unwanted effects of globalization and the growing number of multinational companies are factors that pollute the environment
. I totally agree with this
topic and this
essay will explain the reasons for the negative effects.
At first,
globalization is a serious problem such
as population, people can go anyways in the world as
travelling or working but they always bring waste products with them. People throw it in several places Change preposition
apply
such
as mini shampoo and mini toothbrushes when they have finished or before they go back home. in Thailand, travellers come to Thailand about 10 million per year forget their things around 1 million tons per year and that destroys the environment
.
Secondly
, many companies have been establishing buildings in natural areas which is affecting to
Change preposition
apply
animals
lives. Change noun form
animals'
animal's
Therefore
, water will be polluted and natural food will disappear due to
the chemical waste product and the land where these animals live is limited.
Overall
, I believe that globalization and companies worldwide impact the environment
in bad ways. The risk to the planet will be coming if we are not responsible for taking care of our place.Submitted by amittawin on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve your essay, consider providing more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, you mentioned the issue of waste brought by travelers but did not provide enough examples or data to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Work on ensuring that your ideas are completely developed. The essay briefly mentions the negative impact of globalization and multinational companies, but more thorough explanations and additional paragraphs could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your sentences flow smoothly from one to the next. The transitions between ideas are present but could be more seamless. For example, connect the problem of pollution by travelers more clearly with the broader issue of environmental degradation caused by globalization.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay, but your conclusion could benefit from summarizing the main points more comprehensively and providing a stronger final thought.
coherence cohesion
Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This will not only help with clarity but also keep the reader interested in your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the negative impact of globalization and multinational companies on the environment.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.