Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tooL Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh tne benefits?
on
Change preposition
In
this
advancement of technology era, more and more video
games
have been created and covered all parts of the globe. Therefore
, It is debated among the public whether the
Correct article usage
apply
video
games
as harmless or opposite effect on the people who is
playing Correct subject-verb agreement
are
on
them. From my perspective, the drawbacks of Change preposition
apply
video
games
outweigh the upsides which I will explain in the following paragraph.
To begin
with, there are some advantages of
playing Change preposition
to
video
games
. First of all, this
can be used as a type of entertainment to
all age groups to relax and release stress. Change preposition
for
For instance
, some adults might find this
as a way to enjoy themselves by focusing on their favourite games
after working in
Change preposition
on
such
hectic
day to relax. Correct article usage
a hectic
Second,
nowadays there are lots of computer games
that provide enducational
benefits to children Correct your spelling
educational
such
as minecraft
and Change the capitalization
Minecraft
wordscapes
virtual Change the capitalization
Wordscapes
games
which enhance problem-solving skills, teamwork and vocabulary. Not to mention
, creative development in children that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
encourage
them to be more Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
creativity
and strategic thinking.
In Replace the word
creative
constract
, Correct your spelling
contrast
while
playing computer Correct word choice
apply
games
aggresively
or Correct your spelling
aggressively
addicted
Replace the word
addiction
also
lead
to health and mental concerns. Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
For example
, an individual who is
continuously Unnecessary verb
apply
sit
in front of the electronic Correct subject-verb agreement
sits
devide
for hours can lead to serious sedentary lifestyles namely obesity and heart Correct your spelling
device
divide
diseases
. Fix the agreement mistake
disease
Thus
, long screen hours might potential
Change the word
potentially
leads
to eyesight issues. On top of that, Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
lack
of interaction with others can cause Correct article usage
a lack
self isolation
from Add a hyphen
self-isolation
outside
world which can link to depression and anxiety. Add an article
the outside
Nevertheless
, academic performance shows negative
trend if they Correct article usage
a negative
failed
to balance both entertainment and Wrong verb form
fail
academic
wisely.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
academics
while
playing a game provides comfort to a person but also
considering
the significant negative impacts on individuals including health and mental Wrong verb form
considers
problem
that can ruin Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
Change noun form
people's
life
if addicted to a game.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, the demerits outweigh the merits.Submitted by tifjong on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
In the introduction, clarify the topic and your position more concisely. Also, correct minor grammatical errors to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain logical flow. Avoid abrupt topic changes.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points, especially in the sections discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of video games.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've highlighted both the benefits and drawbacks of video games, addressing multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Efforts to provide concrete examples, such as specific games and their impacts, are evident and useful.