In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development

I would say there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more benefits when you have to find

work

and move away from your friends and

families

Fix the agreement mistake

family

show examples

. I can come up with 2 advantages.

First,

you can form a new relationship with your coworkers and

this

new relationship will be helpful to your

work

life. If you did not move away from your friends and families,

then

you

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

not feel to be close

with

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show examples

your

collegeus

Correct your spelling

colleagues

. Because you have people who you already know well,

Correct word choice

apply

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you will not feel lonely during having a time with them.

Then

naturally, you will not

work

hard

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

along with

your coworkers.

This

phenomenon can cause

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apply

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loneliness and alienation in your working space.

However

, when you are

seperated

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separated

with

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from

show examples

people who you are already close with, you will definitely try to be friends with coworkers, and after that, it will be

develped

Correct your spelling

developed

into enjoying

hobby

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a hobby

show examples

together or making a study group and having a self-developing time together. These activities and

changness

Correct your spelling

changes

will make you get easily into

work

life.

Second,

it's your new chance

of growing

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to grow

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. Once in a life, of

course

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course,

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you will face the situation that you need to live far away from your family and

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

town where you

live

Wrong verb form

have lived

show examples

for a long time. At

first,

you might

lonely

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be lonely

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or can not stand it that well. But

human

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humans

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can grow when

you

Correct pronoun usage

they

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practice overcoming loneliness and

being

Verb problem

getting

show examples

used to

this

new environment. If you assume that

this

chance

Correct your spelling

change

show examples

is going to be your growing point,

then

it will make you stronger. In conclusion, there are more advantages

Submitted by starmino0113 on Sun Jul 14 2024

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task response

For task response, ensure that you fully develop your points and perhaps provide a more balanced view by mentioning potential disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from better linking phrases and smoother transitions between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.

task response

You have effectively addressed the advantages of moving away for work, providing clear reasons and examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

264 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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