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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#consumption #three #person #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graphs depict
margarine
Use synonyms
, low fat & reduced spreads and
butter
Use synonyms
 as a daily spreads consumption between 1981 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
margarine
Use synonyms
 and
butter
Use synonyms
 suffered a downtrend,
whereas
Linking Words
 low fat & reduced spreads experienced a noticeable growth but slightly dropped
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. In the beginning, many individuals used
butter
Use synonyms
 as their spread,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 at 140
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1981. In 1986,
butter
Use synonyms
 had the highest consumption which peaked at 160
grams
Use synonyms
 daily.
However
Linking Words
,
butter
Use synonyms
 usage steadily plummeted
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1991 to 2007 from 100
grams
Use synonyms
 to just under 60
grams
Use synonyms
 respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, low fat & reduced spreads significantly increased from slightly under 20
grams
Use synonyms
 to 80
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1996 and 2001 respectively.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced a marginal drop in 2007 which was over 60
grams
Use synonyms
. Following that,
margarine
Use synonyms
 consumption
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
 by approximately 20
grams
Use synonyms
 between the period of 1981 to 1986.
Margarine
Use synonyms
 experienced a level
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
 roughly 80
grams
Use synonyms
 to 100
grams
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1991 to 2001 before
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
 a notable
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 to just 40
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Submitted by debbychrist10 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words margarine, butter, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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