Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information , such as their hobbies and interests , and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful . Others disagree Discuss both views and give your own opnions
In
this
contemporary epoach
, most of the companies have personal Correct your spelling
epoch
approach
information
space in their applicantion
forms Correct your spelling
application
such
as martial status, hobbies, and interest
. A certain number of people Fix the agreement mistake
interests
is considered
it useful Wrong verb form
consider
while
others disagree that personal information
is irrelevant. This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, personal details
should be relevanted
when new Correct your spelling
relevant
canditates
Correct your spelling
candidates
applying
for jobs because Wrong verb form
apply
this
is the best way to know about individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
detaily
except their academics. Correct your spelling
details
detail
This
is, these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
are help
to assign work in the Wrong verb form
helps
working place
Correct your spelling
workplace
along with
it connects
co-workers who have Wrong verb form
connecting
same
pastime activities, and Correct article usage
the same
as a result
, they can work without boring. For example
, a person
fills the
application Change preposition
out the
of
Change preposition
for
job
with personal Correct article usage
a job
details
, he
likes to socialise, and travels Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
Change preposition
in
free
time; Correct pronoun usage
his free
employer
clearly gets ideas, he is an extroverted Correct article usage
the employer
person
, and he needs my company. Needless to say, asking marital status to
new applicants Change preposition
of
that
means they work an extra hour or not. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Hence
, personal details
are relevant to understand
the new applicant's life.
Wrong verb form
understanding
In contrast
, personal details
are irrelevant because companies should hire employees depends
on their academic performance Wrong verb form
depending
as well as
professional skills. That is
, every person
dissimilar
hobbies and interests, Add a missing verb
has dissimilar
Correct word choice
and reprecussions
reprecussions
, they can judge Correct your spelling
repercussions
someone
Change noun form
someone's
characteres
badly Just look Correct your spelling
character
on
their personal Change preposition
at
information
without communicating, and this
is a
worst Change the article
the
sinario
. Correct your spelling
scenario
For instance
, if a person
fills smoking
and Wrong verb form
smokes
drinking
in a hobbies space of applicant forms, others easily give a name to that Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
person
is
Correct your spelling
as
"drug
addict"; but he Correct article usage
a "drug
an
is a social drinker, personal Correct article usage
apply
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
are
used Correct subject-verb agreement
is
for judging
someone's attitude negatively. To be more precise, many countries like Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and the USA never ask Change preposition
to judge
to
Change preposition
for
new
applicant's identity because they only focus on their academic, and professional performance.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a new
although
personal information
is required when applying
a new job because Add the preposition
applying for
employer
have to know about our new employee's personal interests, and it helps to connect co-workers who have Fix the agreement mistake
employers
same
thoughts, personal Correct article usage
the same
details
are unnecessary because it
Correct pronoun usage
they
affects
their real characters, Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
employer
should hire employees based on their academic performances. Fix the agreement mistake
employers
However
, in my opinion, personal details
are irrelevant, and companies do not consider
their employee's personal life instead
of they should fous
on their academic and professional performances.Correct your spelling
focus
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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grammar
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examples
Ensure all examples provided are directly relevant to the point you are making. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
structure
While your essay addresses both viewpoints and provides your opinion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This can improve the logical flow of your essay.
content
Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and help frame the essay effectively.
examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which enriches your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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