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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information on average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities. Write at least 150 words.

The table below gives information on average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities. Write at least 150 words.
#information #hours #minutes #uk #males #females #activities
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The chart illustrates the statistical data regarding the
time
Use synonyms
 duration consumed by both ladies and gents in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 for various
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
show examples
 amount of
time
Use synonyms
 was utilized for sleep, the minimum
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 by both genders.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 males play a key role in earning
activities
Use synonyms
 when
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
balnce
Correct your spelling
balance
 the households. When looking at the given data, it is conspicuous that more
time
Use synonyms
 is used by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 to have a nap when compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
accounted
Wrong verb form
account
show examples
8.18
Change preposition
for 8.18
show examples
 hours and 8.04 hours respectively.
This
Linking Words
 was vice versa for the second largest
Use synonyms
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 task, the leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 for which males took 5 hours and 25
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day and 27
minutes
Use synonyms
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 allocated for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 functions like ,resting, personal care, nutrition, hobbies like reading social life, voluntary work meetings and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, are all nearly the same for each other. In comparison, a significant variance is there in the means of sports and
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 care. Particularly, men spent two times more duration on playing than women who spent only 7
minutes
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it.
This
Linking Words
 was the opposite for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
child care
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
when ladies had to spend 32
minutes
Use synonyms
, only a half of that was dedicated by men.
Submitted by oriexam6 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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