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Band 5

The wealth of a nation is said to depend on the health of its citizens. Yet, in the modern knowledge-based economies of the world, education is more and more being seen as the main force in the development of all countries. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

#wealth #nation #health #citizens #knowledge-based #economies #world #education #force #development #countries
In the modern world, many people believe that the wealth of
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
 is considered based on the
health
 of its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some people believe that
education
 plays a vital role in the development of a
nation
. I do believe that the
economony
Correct your spelling
economy
 plays
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 driving development.
Education
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 a
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 role when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to
economy
Add an article
an economy
the economy
show examples
 that happened because
education
 enables individuals to acquire knowledge and skills.
Moreover
, an educated workforce contributes to economic growth. India is one of the
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
 with
this
 case.
According to
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
new
Capitalize word
New
show examples
yoerk
Correct your spelling
york
 times, India is improving their economy through improving their
education
. As for their expertise in IT which means most of their economy is based on its Human Capital.
Furthermore
, investing
education
Change preposition
in education
show examples
 leads to improve
health
outsomes
Correct your spelling
outcomes
. Another reason is
education
 can
promotes
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
 innovation and technological advancement. With technology, it can help to address
healthcare
 challenges.
However
, I
also
 believe that
education
 and
health
 are interconnected and influence each other. With the advancement of technology and
education
, they will create a significant change in
healthcare
 facilities in a positive way.
In addition
, good
healthcare
wiill
Correct your spelling
will
 create
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
Thus
, they are more likely to participate in the workforce. In conclusion, as
priority
Add an article
a priority
show examples
 for the
sort
Correct your spelling
short
show examples
 term goal, I believe that
education
 will give more significant change
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the wealth of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
. As for the medium and
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 goal for a
nation
, I
also
 believe
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
education
 will
impacting
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
.
Thus
, A balanced investment in both
education
 and
health
 is essential for national development
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, you could ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by a few sentences of explanation or examples. This will make your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking phrases and transition words. This will help in connecting your ideas smoothly and maintaining a logical flow.
task achievement
To achieve a more complete response to the task, make sure you address all parts of the question. Explain both viewpoints more thoroughly and offer a balanced opinion.
task achievement
To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, focus on developing each point fully. Give more specific examples and expand on your explanations to illustrate your arguments better.
task achievement
Your introduction sets up the essay topic well, and you clearly state your opinion early on, which is important for a high task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth
  • nation
  • citizens
  • health
  • education
  • knowledge-based economies
  • development
  • force
  • agree
  • disagree
  • vital role
  • progress
  • interconnected
  • influence
  • investing
  • improved outcomes
  • acquire
  • skills
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • participate
  • promotes
  • innovation
  • technological advancements
  • address
  • challenges
  • balanced investment
  • essential
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