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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relavent.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relavent.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summerise #information #features #comparison #relavent
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The graphs
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
illustrate
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 data for Australian's
people
Use synonyms
 different habits
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 and
drinking
Wrong verb form
drink
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea. In six cities (
Sydney
Use synonyms
,
Melbrourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
, Briban,
Aldelaide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
, and
Hobart
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
. most of the
people
Use synonyms
 like to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Adelaide
people
Use synonyms
 like instant
coffee
Use synonyms
. And the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea. There was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highest amount of
people
Use synonyms
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks, were
Use synonyms
Hobart
Change preposition
in Hobart
show examples
, Melbourne,
Use synonyms
Sydney
Correct word choice
and Sydney
show examples
 ( about 60% ) and only about55% in Brisban under 50 %. And the second high
percentage
Use synonyms
 was for individuals who bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks,
Hobart
Use synonyms
 was around 55%, and Brisban
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 53%,
Aldelaide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
exactly
Add a missing verb
was exactly
show examples
 50%, both Melbourne and
Sydney
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 were under 50%. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to
Add an article
the cafe
show examples
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 was less popular except in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and Melbourne about 40%,
while
Linking Words
 in the remaining cities
Hobart
Use synonyms
 , Adelaide and Brisban ( just under 40% , and both about 30% respectively).
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, coffee, sydney, hobart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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