Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects so it should bes compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that
art
is essential for children's creativity and growth and should be used wisely.While
it is commonly held belief that art
sessions should be taught especially for higher grades, because painting and drawing are vital for kids
development, there is Change noun form
kids'
kid's
also
an argument that opposes it. I consider that art
sessions should be invested in useful activities.
To begin
with, We should increase art
sessions for high school. In other words
, art
could improve ethical behaviour and decrease stress, especially for young ages.In addition
, art
acquires a high amount of innovation and creativity,Furthermore
, teachers should collaborate to increase the amount of opportunities for children to visit museums and art
galleries. Another point to consider, art
should be invested from
various authorities, which, could improve culture. It is Change preposition
in by
also
possible to say that we could combine art
with technology to improve art
periods . On the other hand
, we could encourage children to construct interpersonal relationships between students while
painting or drawing. In conclusion, despite people have
various views, I believe thatWrong verb form
having
,
Remove the comma
apply
art
is the power of innovation for every child, also
art
could be taught for various ages,since, It could improve their lifelong learning and their personal growth.Submitted by pcah70 on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic but doesn't expand on the opposing argument. To achieve a higher score, it would be beneficial to acknowledge and address counterpoints more thoroughly.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from additional specific examples that strengthen your arguments. Personal anecdotes or referencing well-known studies can add depth to your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay can be improved. For instance, it would help to break down large paragraphs into smaller ones focused on a single idea. Use transition words more effectively to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need better development and support. For example, you mention that art can reduce stress and improve ethical behavior, but explaining how art achieves this with specific instances would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the main body well. This shows a good understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
You bring up valid and relevant points about the benefits of art education, such as creativity and cultural improvement.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion