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Band 4

Nowadays, there are more and more young people don't like cooking. It becomes a trendy problem in society. How could we encourage young generation to learn cooking? Write an email to the manager of the club. Tell the manager what suggestions you will make and why. Write 120-150 words.

#people #society #generation #email #manager #club #suggestions
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 email to share my thoughts on the decline in enthusiasm for cooking among young individuals in society.
This
 idea has sparked excitement and enthusiasm within me. I strongly think it would be better if we organized beachside talk shows at the weekend. There are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced it will be beneficial to our club. The first reason is that
this
 activity will highlight the benefits of self-cooking compared to eating out at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 restaurant. Another reason is that it could attract a large number of young individuals and tourists who travel to the beach.
As a result
,
this
 could allow our club to gain new members by offering cooking courses. I trust that
this
 recommendation will be taken advantageously by the club members. I highly appreciate your feedback on
this
 matter. Sincerely,
Submitted by vietnam.rosy.nguyen on

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coherence cohesion
While the email is generally well-structured, you may want to add a clearer conclusion that reiterates your main points and offers a final thought. This will enhance the coherence of your response.
task achievement
Consider providing specific examples or anecdotes to support your suggestions more robustly. For example, you could mention a successful event or activity where a community club attracted new members through engaging initiatives.
task achievement
The email effectively addresses the task at hand and provides logical suggestions to encourage young people to cook.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and body of the email are clear and well-organized, which aids in reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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