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Band 5.5

The chart below shows the result of a survey of patients who stayed in three different wards of a hospital . It shows what percentage of the patients replied ' very good ' about various aspects of their hospital experience . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant . Write at least 150 words .

The chart below shows the result of a survey of patients who stayed in three different wards of a hospital . It shows what percentage of the patients replied ' very good ' about various aspects of their hospital experience . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant . Write at least 150 words .
#survey #patients #three #wards #percentage #aspects #summarise #information #features #comparisons
This
 chart shows the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
patients
 who stayed in three different wards of a hospital and what percentage of the
patients
 replied "very good" about various aspects of their hospital
experiene
Correct your spelling
experience
. In Holly
Ward
,
patients
 always notice hospital
staff
.Approximately 90% of it held positive views because of the hospital
staff
,
quality
 of
treatment
 and aftercare,significantly higher than those in the other wards.
Wating
Correct your spelling
Waiting
show examples
 time,
although
 it is the least portation,it still has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important station,more than 70%
prople
Correct your spelling
people
 will
thinking
Change the verb form
think
be thinking
show examples
 about
this
. In Maple
Ward
,most
patients
 will think about
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
treatment.
Correct your spelling
treatment
80%.The
quality
 of aftercare
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 hospital
staff
 share the same account,about 70% each one.The
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one in Maple
Ward
 is the waiting time,only 50%
patients
Change preposition
of patients
show examples
 will think about that. Oak
Ward
 followed a similar pattern,but with smaller percentages,with 80%of
patients
 expressing high satisfaction with the
quality
 of
treatment
,around 70%for
staff
 and aftercare,and just above 50%for waiting time. In general,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
patients
 in Holly
Ward
 ,Maple
ward
Capitalize word
Ward
show examples
 and OakWard will concentrate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
quality
 of
treatment
.
Submitted by 1228237211 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, ward, staff, quality, treatment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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