IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Task2 The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years,population relocation to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 in favour of finding jobs has become one of the main problems that
people
Use synonyms
 should pay attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss the major reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 issue and viable
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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. On the one hand, the reason for travelling to the
cities
Use synonyms
 for work seems to be
queite
Correct your spelling
quite
 simple, the first driving offices built in larger developed
areas
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.
That is
Linking Words
 because
people
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 generally choose to find a place
for
Change preposition
to
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 work in
cities
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 because of
shortage
Correct article usage
the shortage
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Change preposition
of
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jobs in the village.Another important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue
can be
Wrong verb form
is
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 that
,
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apply
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 when
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
leave
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leaves
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 their families in the rural
areas
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 to excel in big
cities
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 it creates additional risks for older individuals.
For example
Linking Words
, many senior citizens stay their home lonely, without their children. They lose necessary support and
puts
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
 additional pressure on
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
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 system.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,despite the fact that the migration from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to
cities
Use synonyms
 has gained momentum is
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 problem there are some reliable
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to it. The first viable solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem is
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
 increase the number of factories and companies in rural
areas
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 and help
people
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 improve their living conditions by providing them with work.
For instance
Linking Words
, the more opportunities are provided in the villages the less amount of
people
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 who come from the
countyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 will be.Another significant way by which
this
Linking Words
 problem can be tackled is that local authorities should support the growth of tourist attractions in the village.The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 fast-growing tourists can drive the local economy and expand the labour market to meet tourist demand. In a nutshell,
government
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the government
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 should increase job scope and allure
people
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 to travel to a town,in
this
Linking Words
situation
Add a comma
situation,
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 the authority's action plays a crucial role
to address
Change preposition
in addressing
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Linking Words
this difficulties
Change the determiner
this difficulty
these difficulties
show examples
.

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clear comprehensive ideas
While the main ideas are presented clearly, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Proofreading and focusing on sentence structure can help improve this.
relevant specific examples
Although you have included relevant examples, they could be elaborated a bit more to clearly demonstrate your points. Providing more details or data in your examples can strengthen your essay.
logical structure
Try to maintain consistency in paragraph structure and ensure smooth transitions between ideas. This will help in presenting a more cohesive argument and make the essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the issue and summarizing the main points.
complete response
Your essay responds to the task effectively by discussing both the problems and solutions related to urban migration.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Rural-urban divide
  • Dwindling opportunities
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Infrastructure development
  • Job creation
  • Sustainable development
  • Economic diversification
  • Skills training
  • Cultural assimilation
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