IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

#bar #illuistrats #percentage #deviation #students #university #graduates #canadian #cities
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The bar chart
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illustrates
illuistrats
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illustrates
 the
percentage
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 deviation of
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international
internatinal
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international
 students among
university
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 graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.
Overall
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, we can see that the
percentage
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 of the share of international students considerably
incresed
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increased
 in the period of 2001-2006. It can be plainly viewed that
in
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apply
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the
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apply
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New Brunswick
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 has shown the
higest
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highest
 index
wereas
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whereas
the
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apply
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Ontario
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university
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University
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 has the lowest
percentage
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 over the course of these 5 years. We can
also
Linking Words
notic
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note
 that the highest
percentage
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 after New Brunswick was Nova Scotia with about 11%
besides
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of
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apply
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that it has
same
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the same
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 index
with
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as
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 British Columbia
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university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
. Data
also
Linking Words
 suggest that the
higest
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highest
 growth rate
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university
Change preposition
in university
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 was
British
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in British
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 Columbia (about 6%)
however
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, the lowest growth rate
educational
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in educational
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 institution was
Quebec
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in Quebec
show examples
 (which is only about 2%.). There are identical
index
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indexes
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 for
Mantoba
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Manitoba
 and (Newfoundland and
Lebrador
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Labrador
)
univeraities
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universities
 which is 3%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your essay by organizing the paragraphs more effectively. Ensure that each paragraph covers one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a strong conclusion to wrap up your response. A proper conclusion summarizes the key points you've mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and aim to paraphrase more to maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Provide a clearer response by elaborating on your points with more precise examples or elaboration.
task achievement
Review your essay for small grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
The overall understanding of the chart’s trend is accurately depicted.
task achievement
Good attempt at comparing different data points within the chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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