IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #differences #opionion
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think when someone is visiting a
country
Use synonyms
, they should obey local traditions and behaviour.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
 itself
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
visitors
Change to a genitive case
visitor's
visitors'
show examples
 culture and accept differentiation. Personally, I am on the first opinion. It is important to have respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the heritage and local
people
Use synonyms
. Before
people
Use synonyms
are travelling
Wrong verb form
travel
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 to one
country
Use synonyms
, they should
looking
Change the verb form
look
be looking
show examples
 for as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 as possible
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the
country
Use synonyms
 that they want to visit. The
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 can contain
such
Linking Words
 as local customs, the ancestors, the holy place, etc. Because by getting the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
, the tourists will know what they can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
and can not do when they are going to the
country
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, they will easily get permission from local
people
Use synonyms
 because they follow the local instructions. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors can have
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
zero chance to enter the local area if they do not obey the
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 rules. On the other sides, it is a wrong mindset if some
people
Use synonyms
 think a tourist
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not need to adjust to the local culture. In
this
Linking Words
 case, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 want to enjoy their vacation in a
country
Use synonyms
, they have to know their
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Balinese
people
Use synonyms
 argue their place
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been
destructed
Verb problem
destroyed
show examples
 by tourist behaviour because they are trespassing
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
temple
at
Change preposition
apply
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there. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 riding a motorcycle without a driving license.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is one of the impacts if the tourists do not want to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 local
people
Use synonyms
's
want
Fix the agreement mistake
wants
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors to
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
respect and appreciate local
people
Use synonyms
 by
obey
Change the verb form
obeying
show examples
 their rules. Because if it is not like that, the local
people
Use synonyms
 can feel bothered. Still, I highly recommend
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 tourists
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do
this
Linking Words
instead
Linking Words
 think the host
country
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should adapt.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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task achievement
Try to further develop your arguments and provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will strengthen your essay and make your position clearer.
task achievement
Ensure that all sentences are well-structured and that grammar and vocabulary are used accurately. Consider seeking feedback or practicing grammar exercises for improvement.
coherence cohesion
Work on logically sequencing your ideas so that your essay flows more smoothly. Consider the use of transitional phrases to link ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Aim to make the points in your paragraphs more balanced. Currently, some ideas are more developed than others. A balanced approach will help in improving coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes your standpoint effectively.
task achievement
The main points are present and you provide both sides of the argument, which is good practice for a discussion essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster mutual understanding
  • reverence
  • cultural clashes
  • peaceful coexistence
  • cultural immersion
  • authentic experience
  • cultural identity
  • enrich
  • pluralistic society
  • cultural exchange
  • tolerance
  • flexibility
  • international relations
  • global understanding
What to do next:
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