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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #sports #zealand #summarise #features #comparisons
This
 bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 a variety of
sports
 popularity
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 of
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 gender
playd
Correct your spelling
played
 in New
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
 in 2002.
Overall
,
boys
 and
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
 have
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 different interests in the types of
sports
 they play. The most popular
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
 is
netball
,
then
 followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
swimming is in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher proportion than other kinds of
sports
. The highest
percentag
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
boys
 choose to play soccer,
whereas
 they
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
interests
Correct the article-noun agreement
interest
show examples
 in
neball
Correct your spelling
netball
.
According to
 the data,
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
 show
deeply
Change the word
deep
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
netball
 in over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there is a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 number of
boys
spend
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
show examples
 time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
netball
 in almost
noun
Correct determiner usage
every noun
show examples
. A large number of
boys
 prefer to play soccer
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the highest
percentsge
Correct your spelling
percentage
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 25%. Swimming
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
, but the proportion is
lowe
Correct your spelling
lower
show examples
 than
netball
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 23%. The other is in the same situation across the
boys
, it is in the significant proportion in the whole
sports
 types. And
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
 hardly ever to chose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cricket.
Baketball
Correct your spelling
Basketball
 and tennis are in the nearly percentage in both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 from 5% to 10%.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, boys, grils, netball with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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