IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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Over the
lest
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 few years migration of
people
Use synonyms
 from the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to the
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
 for
work
Use synonyms
 has caused a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
 of problems in
both
Use synonyms
 places.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed some light on the main problems of
such
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 a
phenomenal
Replace the word
phenomenon
show examples
 and provide several plausible
Use synonyms
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 to resolve the same. On the one hand
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 from the
countryside
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 to the
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
 for
work
Use synonyms
 has caused a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 places the first driving for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
behind
this
Linking Words
 issue is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there is air pollution in cities.
For instance
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, another important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue can be
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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.
That is
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 because there are a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 cars and factories so there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 air pollution.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 despite the fact that migration of
people
Use synonyms
 from the
countryside
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 to the
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
 for
work
Use synonyms
 has caused a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
 of problems in
both
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 places are
serious
Add an article
a serious
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problem
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. There are some reliable solutions to it. The first viable
solution
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 to
this
Linking Words
problem
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 is that the
solution
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 to
this
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 situation is
problem
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 is that the
solution
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 to
this
Linking Words
 situation is government should support a wide range of job opportunities,
that is
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 to
say
Add a comma
say,
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 supporting
both
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 technical and physically skilled
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 can increase opportunities for expanding communities.
To conclude
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.
Although
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 jobs are
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
problem
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that is
Linking Words
 creating many negative effects. It can be addressed with the
solution
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, that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been mentioned in the previous paragraphs from my personal point of view in order to tackle
this
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problem
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 is to increase the number of factories and companies in
countryside
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 areas and help
people
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 improve their living conditions by providing them with
work
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer and more cohesive structure. Try to organize your ideas logically. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and these ideas should be connected to one another.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. Make sure each point is supported with relevant examples or evidence that clearly illustrate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Revise your introduction and conclusion to ensure they are more effective. Your introduction should better outline the key points you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarise these points and provide a clear final thought.
task achievement
You have identified some of the key problems associated with migration from the countryside to cities. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have made an effort to propose solutions for the problems discussed. This is crucial for addressing the task question properly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Rural-urban divide
  • Dwindling opportunities
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Infrastructure development
  • Job creation
  • Sustainable development
  • Economic diversification
  • Skills training
  • Cultural assimilation
What to do next:
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