Nowadays many people compain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
Nowadays, the number of
people
that
complain about having enough is increasing significantly . Correct pronoun usage
who
Moreover
, this
problem is getting more serious these days because also
the children are having troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
in
sleeping not just for the adults . Change preposition
apply
This
essay will contribute some
problems caused by sleep and the solutions for these issues .
Having Change preposition
to some
diffculities
in getting enough sleep could be caused by many things . Correct your spelling
difficulties
Firstly
,Many people
use their phones before going to sleep and that's very effective . For instance
, people
who use their phones one hour before they sleep and their room lights are off will have many difficulties getting enough sleep because their eye
will be hurting them . Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
Secondly
, using any electronic screens in the dark will also
cause troubles
in getting enough sleep . Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
Such
as ,
iPads , televisions, and laptops...
Remove the comma
apply
In addition
,the majority of people
love to eat junk food
or fast food
. However
, some people
eat junk food
before going to sleep and that's very unhealthy also
it's considered one of the main reasons that leads to have
difficulties in getting enough sleep . Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
, some people
eat a lot of fats and sugar before sleeping . For example
, chocolate bars , chips , fries...
In conclusion, there are many people
that suffer from getting enough sleep , i
mentioned above some of the causes of Change the capitalization
I
this
problem . The solution to these issues are
Change the verb form
is
people
shouldn't use any electronic screens before going to sleep and the lights are off . People
should eat healthy food
before going to sleep and have healthy habits to solve these problems.Submitted by fiesaidi on
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task achievement
Revise the introduction to ensure clarity and precision in conveying your main point. Avoid repetition and unnecessary phrases, such as 'this problem is getting more serious these days because also the children are having troubles in sleeping not just for the adults.' Simplify and clarify.
task achievement
Work on providing more comprehensive ideas in your paragraphs. Expand on the points made, such as the impact of electronic screens, and connect these clearly to the central theme of sleep issues.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure by organizing your points in a clearer sequence. For example, discuss all electronic-related issues in one paragraph and dietary habits in another, rather than interspersing them.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Words like 'therefore,' 'consequently,' or 'as a result' would help in enhancing flow.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for grammatical and lexical accuracy. Avoid fragmented sentences and ensure the use of appropriate verb tenses and vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion encapsulates the main points effectively and reiterates possible solutions for the problem, providing a rounded sense of closure to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task, identifying the causes of sleep issues and suggesting solutions, which helps in achieving task response.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...