Nowadays many people compain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Nowadays, the number of

people

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

complain about having enough is increasing significantly .

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem is getting more serious these days because

also

Linking Words

the children are having

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sleeping not just for the adults .

This

Linking Words

essay will contribute

some

Change preposition

to some

show examples

problems caused by sleep and the solutions for these issues . Having

diffculities

Correct your spelling

difficulties

in getting enough sleep could be caused by many things .

Firstly

Linking Words

,Many

people

Use synonyms

use their phones before going to sleep and that's very effective .

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who use their phones one hour before they sleep and their room lights are off will have many difficulties getting enough sleep because their

eye

Fix the agreement mistake

eyes

show examples

will be hurting them .

Secondly

Linking Words

, using any electronic screens in the dark will

also

Linking Words

cause

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

in getting enough sleep .

Such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

iPads , televisions, and laptops...

In addition

Linking Words

,the majority of

people

Use synonyms

love to eat junk

food

Use synonyms

or fast

food

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

eat junk

food

Use synonyms

before going to sleep and that's very unhealthy

also

Linking Words

it's considered one of the main reasons that leads to

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

difficulties in getting enough sleep .

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

eat a lot of fats and sugar before sleeping .

For example

Linking Words

, chocolate bars , chips , fries... In conclusion, there are many

people

Use synonyms

that suffer from getting enough sleep ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

mentioned above some of the causes of

this

Linking Words

problem . The solution to these issues

are

Change the verb form

show examples

people

Use synonyms

shouldn't use any electronic screens before going to sleep and the lights are off .

People

Use synonyms

should eat healthy

food

Use synonyms

before going to sleep and have healthy habits to solve these problems.

fiesaidi

Jul 16, 2024

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task achievement

Revise the introduction to ensure clarity and precision in conveying your main point. Avoid repetition and unnecessary phrases, such as 'this problem is getting more serious these days because also the children are having troubles in sleeping not just for the adults.' Simplify and clarify.

task achievement

Work on providing more comprehensive ideas in your paragraphs. Expand on the points made, such as the impact of electronic screens, and connect these clearly to the central theme of sleep issues.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical structure by organizing your points in a clearer sequence. For example, discuss all electronic-related issues in one paragraph and dietary habits in another, rather than interspersing them.

coherence cohesion

Use more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Words like 'therefore,' 'consequently,' or 'as a result' would help in enhancing flow.

coherence cohesion

Proofread for grammatical and lexical accuracy. Avoid fragmented sentences and ensure the use of appropriate verb tenses and vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion encapsulates the main points effectively and reiterates possible solutions for the problem, providing a rounded sense of closure to the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task, identifying the causes of sleep issues and suggesting solutions, which helps in achieving task response.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Nowadays many people compain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

People in the current generation are not fit and active. What are the problems with this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?