IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Credit cards make people too indebted. Does the advantage of credit cards outweigh their drawbacks?

#credit #cards #people #advantage
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Nowadays
people
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 cannot imagine their lives without
credit
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cards
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, which makes them financially obligated.
This
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 essay will demonstrate how smart
cards
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 make
people
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's lives much easier,
however
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, spending more beyond their means will have negative effects on their
credit
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scores
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. On the one hand, using
credit
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cards
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 can definitely make life easier.
People
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 can
use
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credit
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cards
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 as a method of payment, which gives them cash back for future purchases.
Moreover
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, if
people
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use
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credit
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cards
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 correctly,
then
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 they build high
credit
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scores
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 as customers. Like
this
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,
people
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 have a good opportunity to get the best rates on things
such
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 as
mortgage
Fix the agreement mistake
mortgages
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, auto or personal loans. For example, in the USA home sales companies prefer buyers with higher
credit
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scores
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.
As a result
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, they prevent a problem with payment during the mortgage.
On the other hand
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, using
credit
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cards
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 incorrectly contributes to some problems for holders. Actually,
people
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 spend more
beyond
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than
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 their budget.
Although
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,if they carry a balance month to month, they should pay some fees.
Hence
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, it can negatively affect their
credit
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scores
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.
For instance
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, recent research concluded that American citizens' total
credit
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 card debt increases every year, which means more and more
people
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 destroy their
credit
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scores
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 and remain in debt. In conclusion, there is some view that
people
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 who
use
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credit
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cards
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 are financially dependent.
People
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 should follow requirements on how to
use
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 smart
cards
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 correctly
,
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apply
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 because they face some problems
such
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 as lower
credit
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scores
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 and additional fees.
However
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,
credit
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 card holders can have a good chance to build high
credit
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scores
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 and earn cash
backs
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back
show examples
 as a bonus.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth and natural transitions between paragraphs and ideas for better cohesiveness.
task achievement
Provide more in-depth analysis or examples to further strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion present are clear and well-defined.
task achievement
Main points are generally supported with examples, which helps in illustrating the arguments.
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