Topic: Some people believe that history should be taught to children at school. Others however, believe that there are other subjects that are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In recent times, some think that historical subjects should be taught to students at school.
Linking Words
While others
argue that they should be educated in other related Correct word choice
Others
skills
to serve their daily practices. In my opinion, I personally agree with the viewpoint that Use synonyms
children
should learn about other relevant Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
instead
of Linking Words
history
in their classes.
Those feel that Use synonyms
history
class should be replaced by the relevance of other subjects. Use synonyms
History
contains the facts and conditions Use synonyms
in
a certain time, where young generations can obtain that knowledge to protect themselves from several risks. Change preposition
of
For example
, the Asian economic crisis in the Linking Words
last
few decades, Linking Words
also
known as the Tom Yung Kung crisis, Linking Words
which
had a significant impact on Correct pronoun usage
apply
southeast
countries. Especially Thailand's economy, Capitalize word
Southeast
it
had been increasing debts and decreasing national currency, which had a huge negative impact on investors Correct pronoun usage
apply
particularly
local banks. Add the comma(s)
, particularly
Hence
, people can have a comprehensive understanding by learning about Linking Words
history
and the changes Use synonyms
of
trends in advance.
Change preposition
in
However
, I would argue that Linking Words
children
should learn about other subjects, Use synonyms
such
as information Linking Words
technology
. When they learn about Use synonyms
technology
, they can understand how to use a web browser to do their research projectsUse synonyms
,
and create Remove the comma
apply
powerpoint
for their presentation. These are really useful Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
skills
that students, not only use in their high school classes, Use synonyms
perhaps
Correct word choice
but perhaps
it
will Correct pronoun usage
they
also
be valuable in their university classes. Because in university life, they will use Linking Words
technology
in almost every class. Use synonyms
As a result
, students have more Linking Words
familiars
to do things fast.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
families
while
it is true that Linking Words
history
offers a variety of useful lessons to Use synonyms
children
. I would argue that all Use synonyms
children
should learn about relevant Use synonyms
skills
, Use synonyms
such
as information Linking Words
technology
as it is a valuable source of knowledge.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Consider addressing the opposing viewpoint on why history is important more clearly in the body of your essay. While you do mention the Asian economic crisis as an example, it would be beneficial to develop this point further and explain how such knowledge can be practically applied.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a stronger conclusion by summarizing your key arguments more clearly and succinctly. This will leave the reader with a firm understanding of your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have effectively provided examples to support your arguments, such as the impact of the Asian economic crisis and the utility of technology in education. This makes your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and smooth transitions between ideas.