Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with that view? Use specific reason and example to explain to your answers.

#people #email #telephone #communication #reason #answers

Nowadays, many people prefer to communicate through their

phones

and emails rather than communicating in person . Do you agree with that ? In my opinion, I agree with

this

statement . In

this

essay , I am going to mention some of the reasons

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why I believe that . There are some reasons

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why I believe that

communication

in person is getting less . At first , the phone's popularity

has been growing

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

remarkably and it contains many good features.

However

, it has a lot of drawbacks .

For instance

, there are several people who spend all their time on their

phones

and that could lead to addiction , depression and isolation , all these examples make people feel that

communication

in person is hard .

Furthermore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media is the main factor in making

communication

through the internet more used .

For example

, mostly everyone in the world that uses

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

influencer , and sometimes they get too attached and get influenced by them easily ,

therefore

, they see that their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

celebrity doesn't communicate personally very often so they just follow them . The truth is their celebrities don't post

personal

Correct pronoun usage

their personal

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

but they believe what they just see . In conclusion,

unfortunately

Add a comma

unfortunately,

show examples

communication

through

phones

and emails

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

getting

wide

Correct word choice

wider

show examples

and more preferable

than

Change preposition

show examples

communicating personally . I genuinely believe that because of the huge popularity of the

phones

Also

, the media sector and its influencers. And many other reasons .

Submitted by fiesaidi on Wed Jul 17 2024

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task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic, it would be beneficial to further elaborate on your arguments and provide clearer and more detailed examples. This will help in reinforcing your viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

Try to link your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Using transition words like 'therefore', 'as a result', and 'furthermore' can help make your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your essay by clearly separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should ideally discuss one main idea supported by relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your main point of view.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt to provide examples to support your points. With a bit more detail, these examples can effectively reinforce your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with that view? Use specific reason and example to explain to your answers.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Children need to learn right from wrong at an early age and punishment is the most effect way. To what extent do you agree? What punishment should be given?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.