IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #group #team #activities #skills #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that activities are crucial to the health of people.
While
 commonly held belief that the activities better to do it by yourself.In the essay, I will discuss all sides, and I will shed light on the advantages and disadvantages
as a result
, I will draw on my personal . some folk like to exercise in a company for several reasons:
firstly
 when you do it with society can help
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
each other,
secondly
 if do it with more than 5 community it will feel interesting,
finally
 it will encourage each other each
for instance
 if decide faction do hiking properly someone fell tired can anyone his help.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
however
, all
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 mention they have other
other
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
opinions
are prefer
Change the verb form
are preferred
show examples
 to do it alone because when you join with
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
 it won't freedom
hence
 there are
Correct your spelling
regulations
regulation
regulartion
Correct your spelling
regulations
.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
Correct your spelling
example
exampel
Correct your spelling
example
 I have to
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
Correct your spelling
on time
ontime
Correct your spelling
time
 and day In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 consider that
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depends on the exercise if it is difficult
for example
 hiking I will go with a group
morever
Correct your spelling
moreover
 if it is easy
for instance
 swimming unquestionably I do it alone
this
 more comfortable
Submitted by azoz4001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay should have a clearer and more explicit thesis statement to guide the reader. Try to articulate clearly whether you agree or disagree with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Consider structuring the essay more logically, perhaps by stating your main points in the introduction and then elaborating on them in separate paragraphs. This will improve the coherence.
task achievement
Your arguments in favor of group and individual activities can be better developed with more comprehensive reasons and more specific examples. This will enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each idea is given its own paragraph, and use transition words to help guide the reader through your essay. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
general
Work on sentence construction and grammar to improve clarity. This includes subject-verb agreement and proper use of prepositions.
task achievement
You touched on both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective. This is a good foundation for a well-rounded essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: