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Band 5

"In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?"

#education #employment #people #work
These days, working or doing tasks for a great method is paramount.
However
, studying hard more than other students is a great thing. Both questions will be discussed in
this
 essay and will include some conclusions. Starting with, working hard is crucial in our lives, in some situations we have to work hard or study hard which leads to great results. To illustrate, in some countries, pupils have to study hard to get a scholarship.
This
 means some pupils cannot afford their tuition fees
therefore
 they looking for scholarships. Moving to another question, working hard to achieve tasks perfectly is always a great thing, if you do your job perfectly you will find a result.
For instance
, people who work as lawyers have to do things perfectly to get the result that looking for. In conclusion, in our life, we have to work hard to get a great result , working hard is always a great thing.
Submitted by yosf1010 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces both parts of the question that will be discussed in the essay. This helps set a clear direction for the reader.
task response
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Also, make sure that each paragraph focuses on one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should not only summarize the main points but also restate the overall stance or argument of the essay.
task response
You addressed both parts of the question, discussing why some people work harder and whether it is always a good thing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is structured into paragraphs, which helps in maintaining clarity.
task response
Using a clear example to support your point about scholarships adds value to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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