Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no denying the fact that
people
have a great effect on the environment
. While
it is a commonly held belief that authorities and enormous companies can make a difference, there is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, people
can drive the environment
to a spectacular future.
To begin
with, the significance of environmental conservation, which
involves protecting natural habitats by Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
.Furthermore
, it is crucial for biodiversity and ensuring health for planet
and future generations. Add an article
the planet
In addition
, evolving the environment
could be in various ways.For example
, the importance of ethical behavior
, Change the spelling
behaviour
wich
Correct your spelling
which
encompass
honesty, integrity, and fairness, cannot be overstated, as it forms Change the verb form
encompasses
the
trust and cooperation in any society.
Another point to consider, If Correct article usage
apply
people
and authorities collaborate to evolve the impact of economic growth will increase people
's employment opportunities and higher living standard
. It is Fix the agreement mistake
standards
also
possible to say, people
and authorities could construct strong interpersonal relationships, which Correct word choice
that people
involves
fostering trust, respect and open communication.
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
Moreover
, the role of assisting Individuals to
government in modern society, Change preposition
in
which
must Correct pronoun usage
apply
permeated
nearly every Change the verb form
permeate
aspects
of our daily lives.Change to a singular noun
aspect
Furthermore
, it is crucial for driving innovation, enhancing environment
and improving efficiency across various sectors. Another way to improve the world Add an article
the environment
environment
is to reduce utilizing
cars in cities, which decreases Replace the word
the utilisation of
emitting
greenhouse gasses.
In conclusion, despite Correct article usage
the emitting
people
having different views, I believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
people
with each others
Change to a singular noun
other
on
saving Change preposition
in
environment
, will improve the journey of personal growth, which involves continuous Correct article usage
the environment
self-improvment
and self-discovery.Correct your spelling
self-improvement
Furthermore
, it is essential for achieving a fulfilling and meaningful life.Submitted by pcah70 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You need to expand on how individuals specifically can impact the environment positively. You made the claim but didn't thoroughly support it. Discuss more concrete actions or examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure. Some of your ideas seem disjointed. Use more linking words to ensure that the transition between paragraphs is smooth.
coherence cohesion
Revisit the conclusion. It introduces new concepts like personal growth, which are somewhat unrelated to the main topic of environmental conservation.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion.
relevant specific examples
You attempted to include specific examples like reducing car usage to lower greenhouse gas emissions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!