Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A lot of
people
believe that food
Correct article usage
the food
industry
has bad
impact on Add an article
a bad
environment
, human beings and their eating habits. I completely agree with Add an article
the environment
this
point as the multinational food
industries exploits forest
, Fix the agreement mistake
forests
natural
resources and Correct word choice
and natural
compromises
Correct subject-verb agreement
compromise
with
our Change preposition
apply
health
to gain maximum profit on the cost of health
of the customers.
Add an article
the health
Firstly
, food
chains highly believe in making large amount
of money by each and every resource. They cut forests to get extra access Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
on
natural resources, agriculture and raw materials required for them. To Change preposition
to
complete
the high demand of Verb problem
meet
industry
, they exploit local farmers by purchasing their crops Add an article
the industry
on
relatively Change preposition
at
low-prices
and Correct your spelling
low prices
make
extra profit by selling their products Wrong verb form
making
on
maximum prices. Change preposition
at
For instance
, Reliance industries
in India, Capitalize word
Industries
purchase
Correct subject-verb agreement
purchases
the
baby Correct article usage
apply
corns
from local farmers at the minimum support price and Fix the agreement mistake
corn
sell
Correct subject-verb agreement
sells
them
to Correct pronoun usage
it
the
customers after packaging Correct article usage
apply
on
a competitive prices. On Change preposition
apply
the
top of that, they clear the reserved land for Correct article usage
apply
forest
to make it agricultural use Add an article
the forest
a forest
for
to fulfil their need for crops and raw Change preposition
apply
material
. Fix the agreement mistake
materials
This
practice not only effects
the environment but Correct your spelling
affects
also
significantly put
Verb problem
has
bad
impact on the Correct article usage
a bad
food
chain.
Secondly
, the competitive prices of fast
Correct article usage
the fast
food
industry
also
compromises
the Change the verb form
compromise
health
of consumers. The frozen food
and preservatives to make it last
longer put our health
on
a Change preposition
apply
risk
. A lot of people
complain about stomach pain after having meals in
breakfast and lunch. Change preposition
at
Moreover
, consuming fast-fast
on Replace the word
fast food
daily
basis may Correct article usage
a daily
also
increase health
risk
Change the noun form
risks
such
as heart attack and high-cholesterol
. Doctors Correct your spelling
high cholesterol
also
advice
their patients not to eat too much of the preservative and fast foods. In a case study by Harvard University, Replace the word
advise
people
who eat fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
food
on a daily basis are much more on health
risk
as compared to other
who prefer Fix the agreement mistake
others
home-made
Correct your spelling
homemade
food
. However
, this
vary
from person to person as some Change the verb form
varies
people
do exercise on regular
basis are relatively more fit whether they are consuming fast Correct article usage
a regular
food
or not.
To conclude
, I believe that fast
Correct article usage
the fast
food
industry
has bad impacts on humans and environment
as it Correct article usage
the environment
prioritize
capitalism over Change the verb form
prioritizes
health
and nutrition. They are established to make high profits and high sales. It is advised by health
experts to be aware about
the consumption of fast Change the preposition
of
food
as they cause deadly health
risk
.Fix the agreement mistake
risks
Submitted by amarjot755 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt comprehensively and provides a clear stance on the topic. However, to make your argument stronger, consider providing more varied examples from different regions and industries.
task achievement
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases (e.g., 'effects the environment' should be 'affects the environment'). Proofreading your essay for such errors would make it more polished.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, linking words and phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' and 'Another point to consider is...' could improve the fluency and help the reader follow your argument better.
coherence cohesion
There are occasional inconsistencies in your essay, such as 'fast-fast' which should be 'fast food.' Take care to avoid such repetitions by reviewing your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids the reader in understanding your points.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples and case studies to support your arguments, which strengthens your points significantly.