The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and marker comparisons where relevant

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and marker comparisons where relevant
Overall
, the percentage of
people
who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited the
Pavilion
went up between 1980 and 1985
then
rocketed between 1985 and 1995.
While
people
who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited the Festival decreased between 1980 and 1985
then
fluctuated between 1985 and 1995. Another interesting point is that the percentage of
people
who used to visit the pier started from less than went up where met around other landmarks. Looking at the details,
people
who where visited the
Pavilion
started at just over 20% in 1980
then
rose to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 30%, after that jumped to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 50%, between 1995 and 2000 the
number
of
people
who visited the
Pavilion
plunged to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just over 30%
then
remained stable at around 30%. It can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
number
of
people
who used to visit the Festival started at around 30%
then
stayed the same between 1985 and 1995 after that went up where met the
number
of
people
who visited the
Pavilion
.
On the other hand
, the
number
of visitors who visited the Pier started at 10% in 1980
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
went up to around 15%
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
plummeted to under 10%
then
dramatically increased to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 23%.
Submitted by yosf1010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, pavilion, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!