IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.
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The figure above shows the buying and use of both
coffee
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 and tea in
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 3 weeks for
people
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 in 5
cities
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 in Australia, it expands on the percentages of
people
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 that go to cafes and
people
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 who buy
instant
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 and
Correct your spelling
fresh
frseh
Correct your spelling
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
 we can see that a lot of them go to a
cafe
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 for
Coffee
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 or tea in all 5
cities
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 and the
percentage
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 was higher than buying fresh or
instant
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coffee
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 except in the city of Adelaide.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if we look closely at the city of Adelaide the
percentage
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 was higher for buying
instant
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coffee
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 than going to a
Cafe
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 or buying fresh
coffee
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. In Melbourne and Hobart, they have the highest
percentage
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 of going to a
cafe
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 and about the same in value around 63% but the
percentage
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 drops for buying the
instant
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coffee
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 and drops even more for buying the fresh one .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can see that in Sydney a lot of
people
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 go to cafes with a high
percentage
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 around 60% but the
percentage
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 drops noticeably when it comes to buying fresh or
instant
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coffee
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 to around 45% .
Moreover
Linking Words
, we notice that in Brisbane the Buying
instant
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coffee
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percentage
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 is very close to the going to a
Cafe
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percentage
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 but still less and the
percentage
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 drops significantly when it comes to buying fresh
coffee
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 and is lowest in all five
cities
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. In conclusion, we can say that going to a
cafe
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 is pretty common for
people
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 in these five
cities
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 and
while
Linking Words
 they go to cafes they still buy their fresh or
instant
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coffee
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 ,we can
also
Linking Words
 say that
people
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 prefer to buy
instant
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coffee
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 more than fresh .

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, people, cities, instant, cafe, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 10 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drops" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • residents
  • habits
  • purchasing
  • consuming
  • illustrates
  • comparison
  • preferences
  • trend
  • frequency
  • café culture
  • observations
  • urban lifestyle
  • fresh coffee
  • instant coffee
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