The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.
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The figure above shows the buying and use of both
coffee
and tea in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
3 weeks for
people
in 5
cities
in Australia, it expands on the percentages of
people
that go to cafes and
people
who buy
instant
and
Correct your spelling
fresh
frseh
Correct your spelling
fresh
coffee
Overall
we can see that a lot of them go to a
cafe
for
Coffee
or tea in all 5
cities
and the
percentage
was higher than buying fresh or
instant
coffee
except in the city of Adelaide.
Furthermore
, if we look closely at the city of Adelaide the
percentage
was higher for buying
instant
coffee
than going to a
Cafe
or buying fresh
coffee
. In Melbourne and Hobart, they have the highest
percentage
of going to a
cafe
and about the same in value around 63% but the
percentage
drops for buying the
instant
coffee
and drops even more for buying the fresh one .
On the other hand
, we can see that in Sydney a lot of
people
go to cafes with a high
percentage
around 60% but the
percentage
drops noticeably when it comes to buying fresh or
instant
coffee
to around 45% .
Moreover
, we notice that in Brisbane the Buying
instant
coffee
percentage
is very close to the going to a
Cafe
percentage
but still less and the
percentage
drops significantly when it comes to buying fresh
coffee
and is lowest in all five
cities
. In conclusion, we can say that going to a
cafe
is pretty common for
people
in these five
cities
and
while
they go to cafes they still buy their fresh or
instant
coffee
,we can
also
say that
people
prefer to buy
instant
coffee
more than fresh .
Submitted by ah.000 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, people, cities, instant, cafe, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drops" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • residents
  • habits
  • purchasing
  • consuming
  • illustrates
  • comparison
  • preferences
  • trend
  • frequency
  • café culture
  • observations
  • urban lifestyle
  • fresh coffee
  • instant coffee
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