#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

#crime #education #countries #schools #student #behaviour

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I Believe Education

Evolves

Verb problem

Involves

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peoples' lives and

thus

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is crucial for each person's growth

as well as

Linking Words

the human society as a whole. The benefits of

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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being educated are Numerous. It is said

to believe

Verb problem

apply

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that the window

which

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through which

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you view the world

with

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apply

show examples

decides your Opinion about life and your surroundings. In an Academic environment, Individuals slowly begin to learn that every phenomenon

causes

Wrong verb form

is caused

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due to

Linking Words

a scientific reason; be it a social phenomenon, political, physical, etc. The Individual learns that something can exist only if another thing has created it, or caused it to take place.

Therefore

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, there won't be any room left for superstition or a cycle of everlasting confusion, without the slightest bit of willingness to look for a solution, which

Change the capitalization

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Believe

Fix capitalization

believe

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to be significantly

Essential

Fix capitalization

essential

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for individual and social growth. Education

also

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protects people from all the unwanted hazards which come

round

Correct your spelling

around

show examples

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of knowledge and experience Until they are 18 years old. by hazards, I’m referring to two categories: 1- mistakes

2-wrong

Correct your spelling

2 wrong

decisions

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. Individuals might make mistakes that aren't ethical

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or mistakes that may put them in instant danger. by educating

untill

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until

yers

Correct your spelling

years

show examples

old, they can be rescued from people's accusations and learn more about

moral

Fix the agreement mistake

morals

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and ethics,

As well as

Linking Words

learning about a variety of harmful situations and how to handle them.

This

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also

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how the second category, wrong

decisions

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saves individuals; they are not allowed to make significant

decisions

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for

one's

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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until they study and dive more deeply into different subjects that they are willing to Decision make a decision

about

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apply

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, after they turn 18 and are determined

about making

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to make

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those

decisions

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and with the education supporting them , they are free to do as they please.

Submitted by TUTOO on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task response

Address the specific prompt more directly. The essay is about student behavior in schools, so focus on the causes and solutions related to that issue.

coherence cohesion

Ensure every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical sequence. Your ideas jump around a bit, making it challenging to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

Conclude your essay with a summary or wrap-up of the main points discussed. This helps in reinforcing your arguments and improves coherence.

task response

Use specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points better. This can add strength to your argument and show the relevance of your ideas.

task response

Your essay shows a strong belief in the importance of education, which is commendable.

task response

You discuss the broad benefits of education effectively, showing a good understanding of its potential impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aggressive behavior
indiscipline
overcrowded
cyberbullying
interactive teaching methods
reward systems
parental involvement
classroom management
effectively

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#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:" Advances in technology have made people happier than they were before."? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

People visiting other countries should adapt to the customs and behaviours expected there. They should not expect the host country to welcome different customs and behaviours. To what extent do you agree or disagree?