The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.
The circle graph illustrates the proportion of
energy
supply made in France from 4 different materials in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
, France received the most significant amount of
energy
made
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from coal, gas and petroleum, which together accounted for more than half of the entire production, whilst nuclear and other kinds of
energy
sources generated the least amount of power. In all types of
energy
production, there were only minimal changes,
besides
petroleum. The
energy
made from petroleum went through a radical decrease of roughly 10% throughout the period, contributing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only 19.55% in the
last
year.
Energy
Add an article
The energy
show examples
produced by coal comprised 29.80% in the first year and showed a slight increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
approximately 1% in 2005, remaining in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place in both years. In 1995, gas generated 29.63%, which rose marginally to 30.31% 10 years later. The country received
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 6.40% power from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
atomic compounds
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
increased its
energy
manufacturing by around 4% in 2005. The remaining
energy
sources had
also
gone through a minor rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
around 3%, respectively.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: