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Band 4

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behavior #results
recently attention to the
cars model
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car models
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increasd
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increased
 among
population
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the population
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.
peopl
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People
 prefer to pay much budget for High-quality
cars
 and services which is
in contrast
the
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to the
show examples
 past.
this
 essay will discuss
whats
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what
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 the reasons.
todays
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Today
 markets provide
variety
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a variety
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 of
cars
witch
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which
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has
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have
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diffrent
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different
facility
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facilities
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 for
driver
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drivers
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 even most of
options
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the options
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not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 necessary for consumers
such
 as
heater
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a heater
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 in chairs or even monitor on the
cars
i
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I
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 think its even dangerous due driver can pay attention despite driving.another reason is
influencer
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an influencer
show examples
 and
Submitted by ghorbanisahar355 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay to give it a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with specific details and examples.
task achievement
Address the task more comprehensively by discussing both the reasons and potential results as requested in the prompt.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clearly expressed and easily understood; consider using more specific examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
You have identified some reasons why people might prefer high-quality cars, such as modern facilities and influence from others.
coherence cohesion
Your essay starts to address the topic and attempts to explain some reasons behind the behavior.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Proliferation
  • 2. Adhere to
  • 3. Celebrities and influencers
  • 4. Discretionary spending
  • 5. Self-esteem
  • 6. Attractiveness
  • 7. Technological advancements
  • 8. High-quality products and services
  • 9. Health consciousness
  • 10. Holistic wellness
What to do next:
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