IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #sports #zealand #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart presents data
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 most popular
sports
 among teens in New Zealand in 2002. Male and female children prefer different types of
sports
,
according to
 the table we can see 8
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 most common
sports
. In
this
 writing
task
Add a comma
task,
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 I will compare what style of leisure activities prefer boys and
girls
 in New Zealand. For
guys
Add a comma
guys,
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 the most popular sport was soccer about 23% chose
this
 activity,
while
 the least
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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1
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was related to netball.
Also
, another part of male children liked swimming ( at least 13%).
Another entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
Other entertainment
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 had completely the same percentage, not counting athletics, which is not in demand at all. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
girls
 prefer completely different kinds of
sports
. The majority of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 participants were netball fans 25%,
while
 only 1%
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
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 cricket. Unlike boys,
girls
 do not perceive soccer at all, at least 5% of all female children
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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big
fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
show examples
 of
this
 type of sport
To conclude
, I would like to say that,
according to
 the chart information it's simple to understand that boys in
girls
 in New Zealand loved particularly not similar
sports
.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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