IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the data about people's
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 during a week in 1968 and 2018.
According to
 the scheme, it's simple to highlight 8 the most popular categories for spending money,
such
 as
food
, clothes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. In
this
 essay, I would like to present differences between
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
years, by comparing information about, for what purpose individuals expand their income for a week. In 1968 the major part of people's income was spent on
food
 (35%), it was the highest percentage,
while
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 was fuel and power only 7%.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 10% of all weekly income was spent on housing and clothing. Entertainment
wasn't be
Change the verb form
wasn't
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 really popular too because 8 % of all
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
show examples
 spendings
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 spent on it But in comparison with 2018,
according to
 the data we can see enormous
changings
Replace the word
changes
show examples
.
For instance
, the highest
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 was in
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 category 18%. At the same time the highest
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 was in
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
 sphere from 8% to 22%, fuel and power stayed exactly the same like
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
 category
To sum up
, I can say that the most popular field in 1968 was
food
 35% and one of the least popular
sphere
Change to a plural noun
spheres
show examples
 was entertainment 8%.
However
 in
2018
Add a comma
2018,
show examples
 all data were changed, and in
this
 period of time leisure activities became in great request (23%),
while
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 category lost
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 population and had only 17%
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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