Some parents purchase their children a large number of minuature to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the kids of having lot of toys.

#parents #purchase #children #minuature #kids #toys

Plenty of parents acquire their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

loads of

toys

Toys

might improve

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

gross-motor

Correct your spelling

gross motor

show examples

skills,

although

pampering

child

Correct article usage

a child

show examples

would lead

child

having

unpleasant

Add an article

an unpleasant

show examples

personality.

This

essay agrees that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

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outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

Prior

Correct article usage

A prior

show examples

advantage of buying your little one lots of

toys

is it improves

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

coordination.

While

constructing some buildings with toy blocks, youngsters's eye-hand coordination would be developed.

Also

purpose

Add an article

the purpose

show examples

of some

toys

is to develop movements committed by

boy

Correct article usage

a boy

show examples

or girl smoothly.

For instance

, with

help

Correct article usage

the help

show examples

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

pieces,

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

may build constructions using his eye and hand, evolving both parts of his or her body.

On the other hand

, purchasing too much baubles might

also

be bad.

This

issue is well-known among parents who have pampered their babies. Time passes, spoiled boy lasts being boastful. Boasting

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many times is the major reason, why people would repel you. It may get even worse if any actions are not done.

For example

friend

Add an article

a friend

show examples

of mine used to show off multiple times. After numerous boasts, other mates started to talk bad things about him behind his back. After 3 years, we cut our bond off, because of his importunity.

To sum up

this

essay still holds its position that

advanteges

Correct your spelling

advantages

preponderate over disadvantages. Improving skills is good, but

boastful

Correct article usage

a boastful

show examples

personality is

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

problem.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea and that your main points are fully developed. Expand on how toys develop gross-motor skills and elaborate on how pampering can lead to an unpleasant personality.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using linking words and a clear sequence of ideas. Make sure every sentence flows logically from the previous one, helping the reader to follow your argument easily.

general linguistic

Check for grammatical issues and spelling errors. For instance, words like 'miniature' and 'advantages' were misspelled. Also, reconsider phrasing to enhance readability and avoid awkward constructions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well and summarizing your points succinctly.

task achievement

You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced approach to the issue.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as Lego pieces helping develop eye-hand coordination and the story about your friend, adds depth to your argument and makes it more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

214 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents purchase their children a large number of minuature to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the kids of having lot of toys.

Your opinion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not be need because people can see historical objects and works of arts by computers. Do you agree or disagree

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+