Nawadays families are not as close as they used to be. what do you think are the causes of this? what can be doen to make families closer?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The idea of family is based on a knitted

relaitionship

Correct your spelling

relationship

relationships

between parents and siblings.

Although

Linking Words

recently

peaple

Correct your spelling

people

will not agree with the concept of family , it will always be the pillar of a healthy

socity

Correct your spelling

society

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the

factors

Use synonyms

that

fueld

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fueled

fuel

this

Linking Words

idea, and it will look into solutions to create more of a

halthy

Correct your spelling

healthy

relationships

Fix the agreement mistake

relationship

show examples

within one family.

To begin

Linking Words

with , the causes of

this

Linking Words

gap between family members

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

to be associated with general

factors

Use synonyms

on top of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spcific

Correct your spelling

specific

factors

Use synonyms

for each

houshold

Correct your spelling

household

. In my personal view,

tecnology

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technology

has to be one of the main

factors

Use synonyms

, as people think

commuunicating

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communicating

communication

through

Correct your spelling

messages is sufficient to keep

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong bonds maintained ,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

messages

lacks

Change the verb form

lack

show examples

the advantage of emotions replacing it with

emojies

Correct your spelling

emojis

, With time the sense of emotions will

disapear

Correct your spelling

disappear

Moreover

Linking Words

, long working hours can affect many families.

Woking

Correct your spelling

Working

show examples

from 9 to 5

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

can be

chalenging

Correct your spelling

challenging

for someone with siblings and parents , it will be hard to come home and have a meal together.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

factors

Use synonyms

can not affect a society with a

family oriented

Add a hyphen

family-oriented

show examples

mind set

Correct your spelling

mindset

show examples

. In my point of view , the solution

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

increasing problem in many societies is

witihn

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within

with

the people of it ,

weather

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whether

show examples

it is the

govement

Correct your spelling

government

Correct article usage

the iniviual

show examples

iniviual

Correct your spelling

individual

people . Many jobs do not require

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

7 hours

office

Change preposition

of office

show examples

time that can be replaced with working at home days ,

as well as

Linking Words

on call

Add a hyphen

on-call

show examples

shifts,

This

Linking Words

can be

empleente

Correct your spelling

implemented

by the government of

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

specialties

Change the spelling

specialities

show examples

. The technology aspect of the problem is a personal

goverance

Correct your spelling

governance

, we need to maintain relationships with visiting or even meeting for a quick coffee run , making plans on special

occations

Correct your spelling

occasions

and

congratulate

Wrong verb form

congratulating

show examples

each other with a heartwarming gift at

thier

Correct your spelling

their

the

door . In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

technolog

Correct your spelling

technology

and attending

work

Fix the infinitive

to work

show examples

are as important as a family, and

interepting

Correct your spelling

interpreting

the problem by pointing

the

Change preposition

out the

show examples

factors

Use synonyms

is crucial to

end

Change the verb form

ending

show examples

up with

an effective solutions

Correct the article-noun agreement

effective solutions

an effective solution

show examples

in bringing the family bond alive again.

buhamadrehamThu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is very positive. However, it would benefit from more detailed examples to support your points. Try to incorporate specific incidents or case studies wherever you can.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas need to be more clearly and logically organized. For example, break down your paragraphs more distinctly to separate different arguments. You could use transitional phrases to improve the logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with spelling and grammar errors which can distract the reader. For instance, words like 'knitted,' 'technol,' 'govement,' 'iniviual' should be corrected. Proofreading your essay before submission can help reduce these errors.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both parts of the task effectively, discussing both causes and solutions.

task achievement

You did a good job balancing formal tone and personal viewpoints, especially in the second paragraph where you delve into causes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancements
Work-life balance
Geographical distance
Face-to-face communication
Cultural shifts
Individualism
Family cohesion
Career-oriented
Digital platforms
Boom in social activities
Frequent family gatherings
Familial bonds

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Nawadays families are not as close as they used to be. what do you think are the causes of this? what can be doen to make families closer?

Fully explain your ideas

Health and fitness levels of children and teenagers are declining these days. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The recent back-and-forth debate and policy reversal over the use of face masks to prevent the spread of Covid-19. What is your opinion? are you for or against wearing face mask? Why?

some people believe that toruist do not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. discuss both sides.

Some people think it is better for children to being to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. What’s your opinion? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.