Nawadays families are not as close as they used to be. what do you think are the causes of this? what can be doen to make families closer?

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The idea of family is based on a knitted
relaitionship
Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships

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between parents and siblings.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

recently
peaple
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people

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will not agree with the concept of family , it will always be the pillar of a healthy
socity
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society

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.
This
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essay will discuss the
factors
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that
fueld
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fueled
fuel

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea, and it will look into solutions to create more of a
halthy
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healthy

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relationships
Fix the agreement mistake
relationship

It seems that relationships may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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within one family.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with , the causes of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

gap between family members
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to be associated with general
factors
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on top of
a
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apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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spcific
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specific

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factors
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for each
houshold
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household

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. In my personal view,
tecnology
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technology

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has to be one of the main
factors
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, as people think
commuunicating
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communicating
communication

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through
whatsapp
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WhatsApp
Whatsapp

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messages is sufficient to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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strong bonds maintained ,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add a comma
however,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase however. Consider adding a comma.

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messages
lacks
Change the verb form
lack

The singular verb lacks does not appear to agree with the plural subject messages. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the advantage of emotions replacing it with
emojies
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emojis

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, With time the sense of emotions will
disapear
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disappear

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.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, long working hours can affect many families.
Woking
Correct your spelling
Working

The word Woking doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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from 9 to 5
everyday
Replace the word
every day

The word everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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can be
chalenging
Correct your spelling
challenging

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for someone with siblings and parents , it will be hard to come home and have a meal together.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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factors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can not affect a society with a
family oriented
Add a hyphen
family-oriented

It seems that family oriented is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset

The word mind set seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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. In my point of view , the solution
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increasing problem in many societies is
witihn
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within
with

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the people of it ,
weather
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whether

The word weather doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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it is the
govement
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government

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or
Correct article usage
the iniviual
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iniviual
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individual

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people . Many jobs do not require
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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7 hours
office
Change preposition
of office

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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time that can be replaced with working at home days ,
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

on call
Add a hyphen
on-call

It seems that on call is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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shifts,
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be
empleente
Correct your spelling
implemented

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by the government of
diffrent
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different

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specialties
Change the spelling
specialities

The spelling of specialties is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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. The technology aspect of the problem is a personal
goverance
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governance

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, we need to maintain relationships with visiting or even meeting for a quick coffee run , making plans on special
occations
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occasions

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and
congratulate
Wrong verb form
congratulating

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb congratulate. Consider changing it.

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each other with a heartwarming gift at
thier
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their
the

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door . In
conclution
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conclusion

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,
technolog
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technology

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and attending
work
Fix the infinitive
to work

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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are as important as a family, and
interepting
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interpreting

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the problem by pointing
the
Change preposition
out the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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factors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is crucial to
end
Change the verb form
ending

The verb end may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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up with
an effective solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
effective solutions
an effective solution

The indefinite article an may not be required with the plural noun solutions in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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in bringing the family bond alive again.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is very positive. However, it would benefit from more detailed examples to support your points. Try to incorporate specific incidents or case studies wherever you can.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas need to be more clearly and logically organized. For example, break down your paragraphs more distinctly to separate different arguments. You could use transitional phrases to improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammar errors which can distract the reader. For instance, words like 'knitted,' 'technol,' 'govement,' 'iniviual' should be corrected. Proofreading your essay before submission can help reduce these errors.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the task effectively, discussing both causes and solutions.
task achievement
You did a good job balancing formal tone and personal viewpoints, especially in the second paragraph where you delve into causes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Work-life balance
  • Geographical distance
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Cultural shifts
  • Individualism
  • Family cohesion
  • Career-oriented
  • Digital platforms
  • Boom in social activities
  • Frequent family gatherings
  • Familial bonds
What to do next:
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