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some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects . others believe it it more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification . discuss both these views and give your own oponion .

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification #oponion
Nowadays , university students want to learn more about new
subjects
 other than the
ones
 they already are given .
While
,
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apply
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some see that it is more important to devote their effort
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 accelerating
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a qualification . But really do we need to add more
subjects
 and more classes to each student that will probably make them more stressed i don't think so .
However
, learning has become
repeatitive
Correct your spelling
repetitive
 and a bit boring so by suggesting new
subjects
 they will have a bit of change to their daily routine .
In addition
 , the main
subjects
 that are mandatory teach certain skills so to alleviate
ones skills
Fix the agreement mistake
one skill
show examples
 more we could add new
subjects
 that teach new types of
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
such
 as life skills
for example
 and
time
 management . 
On the other hand
 , others think that it is better to put
your
Replace the word
you're
you are
show examples
 all into studying for a qualification which will be needed for future
imployment
Correct your spelling
employment
 which
i
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I
show examples
 have to agree on . To
further
 elaborate , the provided subject teach complex and sophisticated ideas so without doubt they will not be easy so it is important to devote your
time
 and effort to them and
this
 will be disturbed by adding new
subjects
 which will result
to
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in
show examples
 more stress and will distract from the main lessons and teachings . A simple example of
this
 is that when
i
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I
show examples
 was a high school student a new wave of three new
subjects
 where added to our
scheduale
Correct your spelling
schedule
 which ended in many students getting low scores and having no
time
 to focus on our main lessons
so
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apply
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obviously
this
 system lasted no more than a year
due to
 the decline in grades so could you imagine what university students will face .
To conclude
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 see that we cannot add new
subjects
 on
topn
Correct your spelling
top
 of the main
ones
 so we should benefit from the good side of
this
 idea by having weekly
selective
Correct your spelling
elective
show examples
 classes for only those who want to join by doing that we will balance the
time
 for each subject and will keep the main focus on the important
ones
 .
Submitted by aljouri50x50 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For instance, phrases like 'Firstly, Secondly,' or 'However, Moreover' can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
For better task achievement, consider balancing the discussion of both views equally and develop each point with more depth and examples.
task achievement
Clarify your position more explicitly in your introduction and conclusion. This helps in making your argument more compelling and clear to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views in the essay, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
task achievement
Personal anecdote adds a touch of relatability and depth to your arguments, making your points more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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