The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart demonstrates the count of the
films
of different forms that were rented or sold in a shop per year over the
period
of a decade.
Overall
,
it is clear that
initially
, people preferred
rental
Correct article usage
the rental
show examples
option to buying a film.
However
, after two years, the
sales
of
films
overtook the hiring attitude. The VHS
sales
were diminished and disappeared over the
period
.
Moreover
, the
blu-ray
Change the capitalization
Blu-ray
show examples
sales
were initiated from about mid-decade. At the beginning of the
period
, the store was offering more rental services than
sales
. In the years, 2002 and 2003, about 180,000
films
were hired which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased over the
period
. By the end of the
period
, the rental business was minimised and was about one-third of its former fate.
In addition
to hiring, the store
also
performed the
sales
of
films
in the form of VHS, DVD and Blu-ray. In 2002, VHS
sales
(80,000) were high compared to DVD ones(50,000).
However
, the business of
this
type was reduced over time and
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
completely vanished
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
2006. Simultaneously, the DVD trade was hiked annually,and at
lat
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
, it was augmented by almost four times.
Furthermore
, the other format called, blu-ray
films
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
marketed
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the year 2007. But, of course, these were the least sold in the store
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
the
period
.
Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words films, period, sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: