People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday lives. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
Although
living in a large Linking Words
city
can be beneficial for some reasons, living in Use synonyms
this
kind of place Linking Words
have
more Correct subject-verb agreement
has
problems
to handle on a daily basis. For those Use synonyms
matter
, I strongly argue the argument to relocate individuals to a different town.
There are a few Fix the agreement mistake
matters
problems
that Use synonyms
appeared
in metropolitan Wrong verb form
appear
Use synonyms
city
because more and more Fix the agreement mistake
cities
people
reside and Use synonyms
moved
from other places. Wrong verb form
move
Firstly
, traffic congestion which Linking Words
caused
by many cars and motorcycles Add a missing verb
is caused
in
the main road, especially in rush hour when many Change preposition
on
people
go Use synonyms
and
backRephrase
back and
for
their Change preposition
to
job
or school. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Furthermore
, Linking Words
this
trend produces a lot of pollution which poses a risk to all Linking Words
people
particularly older Use synonyms
people
and children. Use synonyms
For example
, Jakarta which is Linking Words
a
capital Correct article usage
the
city
of Indonesia known as a Use synonyms
crowd
Change the verb form
crowded
city
full of traffic jams and Use synonyms
pollutions
. Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
Therefore
, these Linking Words
problems
should be overcome by regulating the system comprehensively, Use synonyms
instead
of Linking Words
relocate
Change the verb form
relocating
citizen
to Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
other town
.
Based on the facts that Change the wording
another town
other towns
already
Add a missing verb
have already
mentioned
, some measures should be taken in order to solve these Add a missing verb
been mentioned
problems
.The government should provide more public transportation which Use synonyms
connect
and integrate between Change the verb form
connects
outer
Add an article
the outer
city
and Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the center
center
Change the spelling
centre
city
. By providing these facilities it can reduce the Use synonyms
vehicles
Change noun form
vehicle's
vehicles'
dense
and Replace the word
density
also
the rate of Linking Words
pollutions
will decrease significantly. Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
Moreover
, the Linking Words
authority
have to impose Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
the
strict Correct article usage
apply
rule
regarding car Fix the agreement mistake
rules
emission
that should meet the Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
treshold
. Correct your spelling
threshold
For instance
, Tokyo Linking Words
city
has Use synonyms
succesed
Correct your spelling
succeed
succeeded
to reach
Change preposition
in reaching
clean
air Correct article usage
a clean
city
by controlling Use synonyms
the
car Correct article usage
apply
emission
. Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
Thus
, Linking Words
this
role could be implied in Jakarta to solve its issues.
Linking Words
To conclude
, living in Linking Words
big
Correct article usage
a big
city
indeed resulting many Use synonyms
problems
for many Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
such
as traffic congestion and pollution. The best way to overcome these Linking Words
problems
is not Use synonyms
relocating
the residents, but the Government should provide public transportation and apply strict Change the verb form
to relocate
regulation
.Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
Submitted by mfmakarim55 on
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task response
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. While you discuss transportation and pollution issues effectively, try to link them more directly to the overall topic of whether relocation should be encouraged.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices and linking words to connect your ideas and sentences better. Examples include 'in addition', 'moreover', 'consequently', and 'as a result'.
general
Avoid small grammatical errors and focus on sentence variety to enhance clarity. For instance, 'live and move' instead of 'reside and moved', and 'the dense traffic' instead of 'vehicles dense'.
general
Make an effort to diversify vocabulary to avoid repetition. Instead of using 'city' repeatedly, consider synonyms like 'urban area', 'metropolis', or 'municipality'.
task response
The introduction effectively presents the topic and states a clear position.
task response
Good use of specific examples to illustrate the problems of traffic congestion and pollution.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured format with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You successfully used examples such as Jakarta and Tokyo to support your arguments, which adds credibility and depth to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?