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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main jeatures, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main jeatures, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts given represent information about the main study intentions among six dissimilar
age
Use synonyms
 groups and the amount of
support
Use synonyms
 received from recruiters.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the career aim of study decreases over
age
Use synonyms
, interest purposes increase over
age
Use synonyms
moreover
Linking Words
, the highest
support
Use synonyms
 of employees is depicted in under 26
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. to commence with,
while
Linking Words
 the greatest career intention portion can be seen in the under 26
group
Use synonyms
 with 80% of pupils,
similarly
Linking Words
 some 65% in terms of employer
support
Use synonyms
.
furthermore
Linking Words
, job purposes for Study regularly diminish by growing and reach the minimum of around 20% over 49
years
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, interest reason is at its lowest amount in the youngest
group
Use synonyms
 with just 10%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and gradually increases by
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 to its peak of 70% in over 49
years
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, 26
years
Use synonyms
 employees received the maximum
support
Use synonyms
 of about 65% it fluctuates over
age
Use synonyms
 and its lower figure is in 30-39
years
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 with roughly over 30%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, support, group, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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