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Writing Samples
Band 5

A glance at the graph provided reveals a percentage of UK teenagers who followed a vegetarian diet between 1960 and 2020

A glance at the graph provided reveals a percentage of UK teenagers who followed a vegetarian diet between 1960 and 2020
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Vegetarian diet A glance at the graph provided reveals a percentage of UK teenagers who followed a vegetarian diet between 1960 and 2020. The number of adolescents was volatilizing for these 60
years
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
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increased significantly from 1960 to 1980, and decreased
thereafter
Linking Words
 for 20
years
Use synonyms
.
Quantity
Correct article usage
The quantity
show examples
 of youths started rising in 1960 at 0 per cent and reached a peak in almost 20
years
Use synonyms
 with 16 per cent. Since
then
Linking Words
, it was a steep fall till 1991, followed by fluctuations until the 2000s. The percentage
was oscillating
Wrong verb form
oscillated
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 between 10 and 5 in the 1990s and stopped in the 2000s
according to
Linking Words
 the line graphic. In the 2000s when fluctuations were stopped after reaching a percentage of 5, amount of vegetarians grew slightly for the next 10
years
Use synonyms
. Since
then
Linking Words
, it maintained the same level for an identical period, at approximately 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. There are numerous adolescents who follow a vegetarian diet in the United Kingdom,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, it is still surprising how the statistics can be changed in 60
years
Use synonyms
 reaching their own maximal and minimal points.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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