some universty students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

#universty #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

A few university

students

want to study more

subjects

, including their major

subjects

however

, other

students

think that they should focus

Change preposition

show examples

their main

subjects

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and my opinion

at the end

. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, there are some

students

who want to study more

subjects

in addition

to their

subjects

, they think that will help them .

For example

, art will help some

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

to improve their talent, and maybe in the future, one of the

students

will be the biggest artist in the world.

Furthermore

, the

student

when they study more

subjects

they will understand the world. It is

also

important to highlight that the

student

will spend their free time doing something helpful and they love it.

On the other hand

, some

students

are against the idea of studying more

subjects

, and they prefer to focus on their main

subjects

. One of the reasons they are against that idea is that the

students

believe they should be focused on their

subjects

and class. Another point to consider is that the

students

think they will be more active,

also

they will have a lot of free time. More importantly, their parents told them to focus on their

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

and lessons.

To sum up

it is clear that

some university

students

are for studying more

subjects

in addition

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

major

subjects

, and some

students

are

against

Correct pronoun usage

against it

show examples

. In my opinion, I am for

learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

about other

subjects

, because that will help our society and culture,

also

improve the

student

with their talents.

Submitted by joudaalhammadi on Fri Jul 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetitive phrases and provide more varied vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.

task achievement

Make sure to fully develop your arguments by providing more detailed examples and analysis.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining structure.

task achievement

The main ideas are addressed, showing a balanced discussion of the given topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?
In recent times, a lot of countries are experiencing the trend, where young people have been neglecting their right to vote. This essay discusses the effects of this trend and what measures can be taken to resolve it.
7.5
band
Some people say schools should be responsible for teaching young adults to look after their health, others think this is not the responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
To begin, these days few individuals think that teaching young adults is the responsibility of the academy, instead, others believe this is not an amenability to the institution. I partially disagree with this statement then I will discuss my views in detail in upcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to sell some of your furniture. You think a friend of yours might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • explain why you are selling • describe the furniture • suggest a date when your friend can come and see the furniture Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...............,
I hope you are doing well, As you know I am going to relocate from Delhi to Mumbai on 5 April 2024 hence, I want to inform you that I selling my furniture and before I tell to someone else I thought to inform you first if you are intrested to take anything.
4.5
band
Rich Countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than Financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that, established nations should offer a different type of assistance to the needy countries contrary to financial support since the finance rendered does not resolve the poverty issue. This essay firmly agrees that an alternative method should be used by the advanced countries. Firstly, this will render direct aid to those in need and secondly enhances proper management of funds.
5
band
People have different views on how to reduce traffic congestion. Some think that governments should build more train and subway lines, while others think that building more roads and widening existing roads will reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have differing opinions about how to solve traffic jam. Some say that the solution to jammed traffic is by increasing the routes of public transportations, while others view that it is better for government to build new roads and widen existing roads. This essay agrees that the problem of congesting traffic can be tackled by making mass transportation become reachable across more areas.

some universty students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people say schools should be responsible for teaching young adults to look after their health, others think this is not the responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich Countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than Financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different views on how to reduce traffic congestion. Some think that governments should build more train and subway lines, while others think that building more roads and widening existing roads will reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.