You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Many countries witness a decline in the recruitment of
police
officers. The reasons for
this
trend include
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of enthusiasm amongst children
due to
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
nationalistic feel, and lower remuneration offered by the authorities. If
this
trend continues, the
country
will be negatively impacted
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will experience increased crime, which may
consequently
lead to a
state
of anarchy.
This
essay analyses the core problems of
this
issue, and if
this
issue is not resolved, the possible impacts it will have on our society.
Firstly
, I would like to discuss the mentality of children of today's society as they are less motivated to join the
police
force. Even though students are taught about the independence struggle by our
ancesters
Correct your spelling
ancestors
, the teachers find it difficult to inculcate nationalistic feelings into our young minds.
Apart from
this
lack of patriotism, the newer generations
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more indulged
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
video games and social media, which has
also
add on
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
to the problem. Another issue, in my opinion, is poorer remuneration offered to the
police
officers in our
country
.
For instance
, my cousin was very motivated to join the forces, but the moment he came to know about the salary offered, he took a back step.
As a result
of the above-mentioned issues, the
country
is now experiencing lower
recruitments
Fix the agreement mistake
recruitment
show examples
into
police
forces. If
this
problem persists, the nation will face significant challenges. The main challenge would be related to the law and order situation. There will be increased crime rate, theft, assault, and most importantly, homicides.
This
will lead the
country
into a
state
of anarchy. An example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
is Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka witnessed a decline in
police
forces in the
last
two decades, which saw a proportionate increase in crime rate in the
state
, which ultimately pushed the
country
into civil war. In conclusion, the lack of enthusiasm amongst youngsters to join
police
due to
loss of patriotism and lower compensations offered
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will negatively impact the
country
. If
this
trend continues, it will lead the
country
into a
state
of anarchy. The authorities should address these issues as soon as possible, and only
then
we will have a safer tomorrow.
Submitted by davidksimson on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the task and covers the main points well, adding a few more specific and relevant examples, including statistics or insights from studies, would strengthen the task achievement score. Also, clarifications on broader impacts would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider refining transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each idea flows logically from one to the other. Additionally, ensuring that points made in each paragraph are thoroughly linked back to the essay's main argument will help.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses reasons for the decline in police recruitment and its potential impacts on society, addressing the prompt clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively frame the discussion, giving the essay a strong opening and a clear, concise closing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: