You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Many countries witness a decline in the recruitment of
police
officers. The reasons for this
trend include lack
of enthusiasm amongst children Correct article usage
a lack
due to
less
nationalistic feel, and lower remuneration offered by the authorities. If Correct article usage
a less
this
trend continues, the country
will be negatively impacted,
and will experience increased crime, which may Remove the comma
apply
consequently
lead to a state
of anarchy. This
essay analyses the core problems of this
issue, and if this
issue is not resolved, the possible impacts it will have on our society.
Firstly
, I would like to discuss the mentality of children of today's society as they are less motivated to join the police
force. Even though students are taught about the independence struggle by our ancesters
, the teachers find it difficult to inculcate nationalistic feelings into our young minds. Correct your spelling
ancestors
Apart from
this
lack of patriotism, the newer generations is
more indulged Change the verb form
are
into
video games and social media, which has Change preposition
in
also
add on
to the problem. Another issue, in my opinion, is poorer remuneration offered to the Wrong verb form
added
police
officers in our country
. For instance
, my cousin was very motivated to join the forces, but the moment he came to know about the salary offered, he took a back step.
As a result
of the above-mentioned issues, the country
is now experiencing lower recruitments
into Fix the agreement mistake
recruitment
police
forces. If this
problem persists, the nation will face significant challenges. The main challenge would be related to the law and order situation. There will be increased crime rate, theft, assault, and most importantly, homicides. This
will lead the country
into a state
of anarchy. An example for
Change preposition
of
this
is Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka witnessed a decline in police
forces in the last
two decades, which saw a proportionate increase in crime rate in the state
, which ultimately pushed the country
into civil war.
In conclusion, the lack of enthusiasm amongst youngsters to join police
due to
loss of patriotism and lower compensations offered,
will negatively impact the Remove the comma
apply
country
. If this
trend continues, it will lead the country
into a state
of anarchy. The authorities should address these issues as soon as possible, and only then
we will have a safer tomorrow.Submitted by davidksimson on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the task and covers the main points well, adding a few more specific and relevant examples, including statistics or insights from studies, would strengthen the task achievement score. Also, clarifications on broader impacts would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider refining transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each idea flows logically from one to the other. Additionally, ensuring that points made in each paragraph are thoroughly linked back to the essay's main argument will help.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses reasons for the decline in police recruitment and its potential impacts on society, addressing the prompt clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively frame the discussion, giving the essay a strong opening and a clear, concise closing.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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