Human activity has had a negative impact on plans and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#activity #impact #plans #animals #world #people #actions #change

It would not be deniable that human interventions have

a bad effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

a bad effect

bad effects

show examples

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

and climate all over the world.

While

some crowds claimed that these activities would not be altered, I agree with those who believe that some approaches should be implemented to help animals and plants. On the one hand, supporters of human doing said that it can not be changed. Many times ago, people have done it without considering wildlife and forests. Apart from that, I concede that many inventions and medicines are found in

this

way to help humans not only

do they

Verb problem

apply

show examples

live comfortably, But

also

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

cure

completely

Correct pronoun usage

them completely

show examples

As a result

, human interventions could not be separated from today's lives.

However

, I think it would be morally wrong.

On the other hand

although

human activity may

violence

Correct your spelling

violate

show examples

animal rights and destroy jungles,

It is clear that

plays an important role in many aspects of development.

For example

, finding medical allergies that, unfortunately, may cause death for many species of animals.

Furthermore

, annually,testing war equipment destroys

planet

Correct article usage

the planet

show examples

and vegetation. I believe that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should implement strategies to conserve wildlife and continue research and testing by allocating special areas or nurturing suitable types of animals for experiments. In conclusion,

while

advocates of human activity argue that it may not be altered, I agree with those who are concerned about environmental issues and believe some alternative ways should be taken.

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both viewpoints effectively and presents a clear opinion. However, it would benefit from more specific and detailed examples. For instance, providing names of countries or specific technologies can enhance your argument.

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical errors and awkwardly phrased sentences. For example, 'supporters of human doing said that it can not be changed' could be more clearly stated as 'supporters of human activities argue that they cannot be reversed.'

coherence cohesion

Organize your paragraphs more clearly. Transitions between sentences could be smoother. Using connecting words like 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' can help in achieving better flow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively present the main argument of the essay.

task achievement

The essay successfully discusses both sides of the argument and provides a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Human activity has had a negative impact on plans and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say the Olympic games are not relevant in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?