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Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparison
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The charts provide the data from men and women aged 60-64 in jobs changed in four
countries
Use synonyms
 over the given
period
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, men aged 60-64 in employment in all
countries
Use synonyms
 have experienced a downward over the 30-year
period
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. Especially, Belgium increased the highest.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Japan decreased the lowest. Women aged 60-64 in work in all
countries
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 have shown
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 shift over the given
period
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. Notably, Belgium and Australia have indicated the smallest shift. Looking at the charts more closely, one can see that workmen in Australia dropped by nearly 27 per cent point from 74 in 1970 to 47% in 2000, followed by Japan, the USA and Belgium decreased over the 30-year
period
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Australia and the USA had slightly a downward from 1970 to 2000. In conclusion, all
countries
Use synonyms
 have slightly shifted.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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