Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the goverment, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some argue that public
health
should be managed by authorities whereas
other
feel that individual should be responsible for their own Fix the agreement mistake
others
health
. In my opinion,a balanced approach is solution
because Change the article
a solution
government
provides resources Add an article
the government
while
it's responsibility
of Add an article
the responsibility
citizen
to utilise them.
On the one hand,the Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
government
has a duty to provide public health
services and infrastructure.This
means that,
governance has Remove the comma
apply
duty
to Add an article
a duty
the duty
introduced
new rules to set food safety standards.At the same time,authorities have different kinds of rules related to physical Wrong verb form
introduce
health
,their work is to make sure that every person follow
them. Change the verb form
follows
Government
provides vaccination Add an article
The government
program
and support during Fix the agreement mistake
programs
health
crisis
like Fix the agreement mistake
crises
pandemic
. Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
For example
, in recent years ,world
Add an article
the world
was
affected by corona virus and Wrong verb form
has been
government
helps people and hospitality services Add an article
the government
were
free for every person which makes human Wrong verb form
are
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
easy
to fight Correct word choice
apply
with
Change preposition
apply
COVID -19
. Does Correct your spelling
COVID-19
Government
have Correct article usage
the Government
lot
of responsibilities Change the article
a lot
about
public Change preposition
for
health
campaigns and they should take regulatory measures to ensure health
services.
Change the punctuation
?
On the other hand
, arguing that individuals need to take proactive steps to maintain their health
. It depends on their personal lifestyle choices such
as diet and exercise.Moreover
, public
must be aware Add an article
the public
about
personal hygiene to prevent the separate of disease.Change the preposition
of
Government
can provide Correct article usage
The government
cost free
resources but its people Add a hyphen
cost-free
preference
to use them effectively Replace the word
prefer
for example
individuals have right
to choose healthy food,engage in physical activities and avoid risky behaviours Correct article usage
the right
such
as smoking and consuming alcohol. By taking protective measures for their health
people can maintain their health
and contribute to their own well-being.
To conclude
, it shows a rational view where both the government
and public
place their own key rules.Both Correct article usage
the public
side
must be honest about their work.The awareness in both Change to a plural noun
sides
Idea
leads to better Change to a plural noun
Ideas
health
care.Submitted by komalpreetcheema07 on
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grammar
Ensure clarity and grammatical accuracy. There are minor grammatical mistakes, such as in the first sentence where 'governance has duty' should be 'the government has a duty'. This helps in making the essay easier to read and understand.
cohesion
Use more connective words and phrases to ensure better flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition' can make your points transition more smoothly.
task
Include more relevant examples to support your points. While you did mention COVID-19, try to provide more concrete examples for individual responsibility as well.
structure
Make sure to separate ideas into different paragraphs. For instance, start a new paragraph when discussing individuals' responsibilities to clearly distinguish from the government's responsibilities.
task
Good effort in addressing both sides of the argument, which shows balanced analysis skills.
coherence
Your conclusion successfully encapsulates the points made earlier in the essay, showing a clear summarization.