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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature. and make the comparison where relevant.

The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature. and make the comparison where relevant.
#two #processes #tea #summarise #information #feature #comparison
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The diagram gives information about
tea
Use synonyms
 harvesting with two different types of methods which are traditional and modern.
Overall
Linking Words
tea
Use synonyms
 manufacturing consists of 5 stages . At first
glance
Add a comma
glance,
show examples
 we can say that
firstly
Linking Words
 the
tea
Use synonyms
 seedlings are picked on
Correct article usage
the condititon
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condititon
Correct your spelling
condition
 that the picked seedlings must have qualifications, after they are left to drying process on the plate and at
this
Linking Words
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
 the
tea
Use synonyms
 manufacturing are
seperating
Correct your spelling
separating
 modern and traditıonal methods .
According to
Linking Words
 the traditional method the enzymes of
tea
Use synonyms
 are
was releasing
Wrong verb form
released
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 from leaves for oxıdatıon
while
Linking Words
the the
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct your spelling
they
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turned
Wrong verb form
turn
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 into smidgen
particules
Correct your spelling
particles
 called fermantatıon. Aftermath the
tea
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 heated by oven or air
dryres
Correct your spelling
dryers
dryer
 in order to it can unleash flavour and aroma just as the
tea
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
loses
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lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 its moisture at a ratio %
97
Change preposition
of 97
show examples
Submitted by kickbox191 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • withering
  • moisture content
  • pliable
  • rolling
  • twists
  • breaks up the cells
  • releasing enzymes
  • machine cutting
  • fermentation
  • oxidation
  • heating
  • drying and packaging
  • machinery
  • efficient
  • traditional methods
  • modern methods
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